This Doesn't Hurt Anymore... I Wish I Could Say That Honestly..

I had a freak out first period at school..
All the talking, the fact I may not graduate..
Tears start to fall, not a soul cares to notice the new kid braking down..
I use the old "bathroom" excuse.
I walk out frantically calling my mom, the only one who will understand what I mean when I say I need to get back on my millions, upon millions of pills.
And a random number calls me, so I call it back..
And it's my best friend! I finally can breath for the first time today!
He says he ditched school and just decided to call me, I finally felt okay.
As I explain to him what's going on and start crying...
What does he do?
Sputters a "Okay, I got to go."
And hangs up..
Am I really that much of a wreck now a days that my one out of two friends wont even give me his time anymore!?
IS THIS WHAT I HAVE BECOME!?
I WANT TO GO HOME, NO, NO **** THAT PLACE!
I WANT TO GO TO A.A., MY REAL HOME!
WHERE TWISTED PEOPLE LIKE ME BELONG!
BECAUSE I AM LOST, SO DESPERATELY LOST!
The shittiest part is, I live in the middle of no where and have no way to a meeting.
I don't know anyone in the program in this town.
I really think this might be the end of me.
Because no matter where you go, there you are.
he8myheart he8myheart
18-21, F
Jan 22, 2013