Hate My Life Right Now, I'll Get Over It Tomorrow

I'm not really paying attention to what I am writing right now.  If it comes out badly, I guess I can always delete it after a nice long nap.  I just need to get this out of my system.  Today is making me sick.

My friends-

I'm autistic, I don't have any social skills.  I'd like to have friends, but I don't really have many.  The few I do have seem to lie...  A lot...  Why do they lie to me?  I don't know.  I don't get it.

One of these friends is also very controlling...  I'm trying to distance myself from her, but she is still my friend.  I'd be bored if I had no one.

My family-

Is controlling of me because of my disabilities.  I have autism as mentioned above which makes me a little naive sometimes.  I also have a malfunctioning autonomic nervous system.  No one lets me do anything...  And I'm 25!  The guilt trips and emotional barraging is just as bad as when I was a kid.  It won't stop, and I am helpless against them.  The sad fact is, I need them.

My disability-

I've grown to hate my autism.  Makes me feel like an idiot.  I'm brilliant, sure, but what good is a Denmark Mensa if I've got no social skills?  My autonomic nervous system is constantly torturing me.  Makes life torture for me.  I was in my friends car today, and the heat was on.  That's all it took for me to stop breathing.  I was sufficating just because the air was a little warm.  I try not to complain though...  They were cold...  I want friends so bad...

I just hate my life right now...

SeriouslyLife SeriouslyLife
3 Responses Feb 19, 2010

can u add me please? i know a few people with depression and what i don't get is that they're mostly from wealthy families and have every reason to be the happiest people yet they're the unhappiest people i know, i've analysed the way they think to get to the root of the problem and it seems like they tend to think in terms of 'the glass is half empty rather than half full', always ignoring the positive and accentuating the negative and dwell on it extensively, more insight on the subject would be welcome.

Hey don't worry about it, I have aspergers syndrome and ADHD and I feel your pain, I have to go to a school for children with learning disabilities, and before I went there I was miserable. But I made friends that were in the same situation as me and we could relate with and help each other with our problems. My advice to you is to try to get out there and find somebody like you, who has the same problems and has the same opinions. Remember even though life sucks sometimes just look for the bright side because it will get better.

hey keep your head I have bipolar and hate the stigma behind it also my uncle has severe autism and I get along with him better than any of my other freinds if you need anybody to talk to my email is jmh57401@gmail please keep your head up it gets better