Check Her Pulse, Should We Call 911?

it was Halloween. This year I decided to not go trick or treating. So I stayed at home. I blasted my music, ordered my favorite pizza, and danced around with my glow sticks and lighter cup having my own party.

Later, my parents came home. During this time, was when my dad got an addiction. He got high multiple times a day. He used to share; until he was pissed I couldn’t get my grades up even though he moved me to another side of town. (2 months later I got diagnosed with ADHD)


That night, after taking my little half brother and sister trick or treating, he invited me to come smoke with him. He got a very strong kind of weed. Better than skunk and chronic, but I forgot what it was called. He had a expensive water bong, so we smoked it out of that. All I had was 1 hit.


I began to choke, and cough. Just like I did on my first time. But I had been smoking for months! I began to spit, I almost threw up. When I went downstairs, I was still coughing. I had my sister on my lap. Id cough, she would cover my mouth. It became a game so I continue to do it. Then it happened so quickly.


One second, I knew who she was, knew who I was. Next everything got dizzy and confusing and really hot. I shoved her off and began pulling at my hair. My breathing became quick. I started losing memory. Where was I? Who am I? what’s going on? I didn’t feel alive or real.


You know how it feels when you’re dreaming? It was like that, but worse. I could feel god ripping my soul out of my body, trying to take me telling me it was my time.  I crashed to the floor from the couch and started screaming bloody murder. I heard my little sister start crying. Little spots of black devoured my vision and I closed my eyes. My head was spinning, I couldn’t feel anything. I felt the coldness of the floor for a second, for that one second I felt real. But that quickly went away.

I heard my mom say “check her pulse, should we call 911?” I thought I was alive, but maybe I was dying. God was slowly taking away my soul. And I was fighting it. heaven seamed so nice, that warmth, that comfort, but no. I was not ready to die. I had many things I still wanted to do.


I opened my eyes, everything spinning. Who where they? I recognized them, but couldn’t remember. Oh wait, ok that’s my mom, and that’s my step dad. I then knew who they were, but felt no connection. My step dad told my mom to be quiet, ignore me. That she was just exciting me. I started screaming more, trying to get them to help me. I go up, crying. He told me to go take a shower. I started walking where the shower was, bout found a dryer and washer. Wasn’t that were the shower was?


This happened for more than an hour. Me at this fight with god, him trying to take me but I wasn’t ready. I fought it desperately. I got a wet cold towel and rubbed it over my body. I could feel that for a little bit. I kept pacing, I couldn’t stay or sit still because I would feel my mind rush and id start freaking out again.


I looked at my phone, trying to remember. Which I knew I was a human, but I couldn’t remember anything. I looked at my background; I recognized his face, who was that? Oh wait Arnoldo. I started going through pictures, recognizing the people. Me doing this made me feel slightly more real for those seconds looking at the photos.


After about an hour and a half, it went away. And I just felt really, really, really high. Very very good. and calm. I lay on my bed, wanting to sleep. It started going away. I began to feel less and less high. After 3 hours I was back to normal.


I had no clue what happened to me. Or what that was. I’m not even a spiritual person. The only times I’ve ever been to church is for weddings. I don’t even know the bible stories. All I know is that I have no clue what was going on.

BellaVara BellaVara
18-21, F
4 Responses Feb 14, 2009

Scary that could do so much damage and just go away like Notting I hope you are better now and getting better , same 4 your dad

Sounds like that weed was laced, PCP perhaps.

i wanna smoke what you smoked

it was mixed with PCP don't do it people have died.

wow. i never thought weed could do that.<br />
im not going to tell you its wrong<br />
im no going to tell you you should know better<br />
and im not going to tell you to learn your lesson.<br />
<br />
i know how it feels. not knowing who you are, where you are, and who are these people around you. its scary yes. fightig with this blackness that crushes you little by little. and trying to push back on it.<br />
<br />
weed does amazing and horrible things. thats why i stopped smoking it.