Register

I Had a Bad Valentine's Day

Please Tell Me Im Not The Only One...

By: sh3d3vil
Written on February 15th, 2012
I've been married 10 yrs. My first anniversary is when I should have walked out. We married in October, got pregnant in December, our child born in September. We were newelyweds with a baby. I suppose I couldn't expect much...but I went and bought him a gift he wanted, something he had made clear he desired. I added a nice shirt for church, a tie, and a thoughtful card letting him know how I appreciated him. I received nothing.

That has been the theme of our marriage. Absolute nothing. I received roses once for a birthday, he was in Iraq. Valentines, Mothers Day, our anniversary, even Christmas. Christmas 2010 he actually bought me a necklace. I felt so special.

Am I the only idiot woman who stays by a man who does absolute NOTHING to ever make her feel special? Why do I stay...I was raised without a father, my child has his...he knows nothing but Mom & Dad married. My husbands family is devout LDS aka Mormon...all married, nearly perfect. My religious convictions play a role somewhat although I have been far from perfect.

I keep telling myself 9 more yrs....just stick to it til my son goes off to college. It will hurt him later I'm sure, but during his developing years he will have stability.

Please someone tell me I'm not the only person to stick by someone who never does a thing to show affection, is in a sexless marriage, ect.

It's not just Valentines.
By: sh3d3vil
Age: 31-35 , Female
916 people have read this story

Your Response

Please respond with authenticity, support, and respect
By clicking "Post", you confirm that you agree to the Terms of Service of Experience Project, Inc.
9 responses
  • 0
    NEW!
    Spotlight outstanding comments to help more people see them, and to show your appreciation to the author.
    Respectwoman
    Respectwoman

    I'm lds and my boyfriend is not...I've tried leaving him almost once a month for the past 2 and a half years! We have a 1 year old daughter and I'm living with my parents but he always seems to charm his way back into the good books...never lasts long...he was messed up with drugs when I met him...he's tried to quit many times but we can never get married or be together in our own place because he doesnt work and wastes what little money he gets...I am trying to be just friends and move on with my life...he ruins every special occasion including this valentines day...I knew he didn't have money but I asked him to drive me somewhere romantic but when we met up he just wanted to go home because it was too late and when I expressed my disappointment he yelled and verbally abused me...he's done worse in past...but I forgave him because I love him and hoped one day he would change...it's not goig to happen any time soon if at all so I'm not wasting my time...my daughter and I deserve a better life...so do you...no matter what religion people r human and fall from grace...no one is perfect but if he's not trying at all to make u feel special you can try sharing how u feel if it's too hard in person write a letter to him, suggest counselling, but if that doesn't work u did all u can do and u need to let go as do I ...good luck xox

    Feb 16
    1 like
  • 0
    NEW!
    Spotlight outstanding comments to help more people see them, and to show your appreciation to the author.
    Carissimi
    Carissimi

    It is your decision, but nine more years is a long time. I stayed for various reasons for 21-years, and it was a mistake to stay. I regret losing those 21-years of my life to misery because I have not one good memory of this relationship in all those years. Every day was an unhappy day. No one can make this decision for you, but if i could, I would say go now before you lose more years, and your self esteem is almost beyond repair like mine.

    Feb 18, 2012
    2 likes
  • 0
    NEW!
    Spotlight outstanding comments to help more people see them, and to show your appreciation to the author.
    Garfield123456789
    Garfield123456789

    Well this may not be the same but ...what makes it suck is that I brought an engagement ring for my wife....and the next thing that I notice is she wasn't wearing one day. I let it go for a day and when I asked her where it was she said that I ttok it off her finger...........Well the next thing I know is she is telling me that I took it to a pawn shop.

    Feb 18, 2012
    1 like
  • 0
    NEW!
    Spotlight outstanding comments to help more people see them, and to show your appreciation to the author.
    ealge17
    ealge17

    If he's not even buying you gifts for Christmas or your birthday seems like more than just a sexless marriage is going on. He must really not care at all about you. Most of the people in sexless marriages have at least the facade of normalcy, if not some actual loving interaction.

    Feb 16, 2012
    1 like
  • 0
    NEW!
    Spotlight outstanding comments to help more people see them, and to show your appreciation to the author.
    juststuckguy
    juststuckguy

    You're not alone to stay for kids. It is not a small sacrifice but I think the right one (is the right one for me anyway).

    However, it is a day-to-day grit-my-teeth-through-it activity and you know you have to do it daily for the next decade. Yes it sounds depressing, but I'm doing it anyhow, and you'll too, somehow :)

    Feb 16, 2012
    1 like
  • 0
    NEW!
    Spotlight outstanding comments to help more people see them, and to show your appreciation to the author.
    genguy
    genguy

    Ummmm.. Got a question....based on his religion...COULD he have another woman someplace?? Just throwing this "out there"....You don't say much about your relationship... anyway, WELCOME!!

    Feb 16, 2012
    1 like
  • 0
    NEW!
    Spotlight outstanding comments to help more people see them, and to show your appreciation to the author.
    Changewilldoyougood
    Changewilldoyougood

    My XH is devout lds. My ex fil was bishop and high counselor for about a decade. It was terribly disfunctional and made me miserable. See you over on ILIASM.

    Feb 16, 2012
    1 like
  • 0
    NEW!
    Spotlight outstanding comments to help more people see them, and to show your appreciation to the author.
    sh3d3vil
    sh3d3vil

    Thanks...I'm staying...although I desire otherwise

    Feb 16, 2012
    1 like
  • 0
    NEW!
    Spotlight outstanding comments to help more people see them, and to show your appreciation to the author.
    8pang8
    8pang8

    Sometimes Love is unpredictable when you were feeling you were wrong of loving and staying your life with a man.. Just be strong woman thats only words that I could say..

    Feb 15, 2012
    1 like