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Please Tell Me Im Not The Only One...

I've been married 10 yrs. My first anniversary is when I should have walked out. We married in October, got pregnant in December, our child born in September. We were newelyweds with a baby. I suppose I couldn't expect much...but I went and bought him a gift he wanted, something he had made clear he desired. I added a nice shirt for church, a tie, and a thoughtful card letting him know how I appreciated him. I received nothing.

That has been the theme of our marriage. Absolute nothing. I received roses once for a birthday, he was in Iraq. Valentines, Mothers Day, our anniversary, even Christmas. Christmas 2010 he actually bought me a necklace. I felt so special.

Am I the only idiot woman who stays by a man who does absolute NOTHING to ever make her feel special? Why do I stay...I was raised without a father, my child has his...he knows nothing but Mom & Dad married. My husbands family is devout LDS aka Mormon...all married, nearly perfect. My religious convictions play a role somewhat although I have been far from perfect.

I keep telling myself 9 more yrs....just stick to it til my son goes off to college. It will hurt him later I'm sure, but during his developing years he will have stability.

Please someone tell me I'm not the only person to stick by someone who never does a thing to show affection, is in a sexless marriage, ect.

It's not just Valentines.
sh3d3vil sh3d3vil 31-35, F 8 Responses Feb 15, 2012

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I'm lds and my boyfriend is not...I've tried leaving him almost once a month for the past 2 and a half years! We have a 1 year old daughter and I'm living with my parents but he always seems to charm his way back into the good books...never lasts long...he was messed up with drugs when I met him...he's tried to quit many times but we can never get married or be together in our own place because he doesnt work and wastes what little money he gets...I am trying to be just friends and move on with my life...he ruins every special occasion including this valentines day...I knew he didn't have money but I asked him to drive me somewhere romantic but when we met up he just wanted to go home because it was too late and when I expressed my disappointment he yelled and verbally abused me...he's done worse in past...but I forgave him because I love him and hoped one day he would change...it's not goig to happen any time soon if at all so I'm not wasting my time...my daughter and I deserve a better life...so do you...no matter what religion people r human and fall from grace...no one is perfect but if he's not trying at all to make u feel special you can try sharing how u feel if it's too hard in person write a letter to him, suggest counselling, but if that doesn't work u did all u can do and u need to let go as do I ...good luck xox

It is your decision, but nine more years is a long time. I stayed for various reasons for 21-years, and it was a mistake to stay. I regret losing those 21-years of my life to misery because I have not one good memory of this relationship in all those years. Every day was an unhappy day. No one can make this decision for you, but if i could, I would say go now before you lose more years, and your self esteem is almost beyond repair like mine.

Well this may not be the same but ...what makes it suck is that I brought an engagement ring for my wife....and the next thing that I notice is she wasn't wearing one day. I let it go for a day and when I asked her where it was she said that I ttok it off her finger...........Well the next thing I know is she is telling me that I took it to a pawn shop.

If he's not even buying you gifts for Christmas or your birthday seems like more than just a sexless marriage is going on. He must really not care at all about you. Most of the people in sexless marriages have at least the facade of normalcy, if not some actual loving interaction.

You're not alone to stay for kids. It is not a small sacrifice but I think the right one (is the right one for me anyway). <br />
However, it is a day-to-day grit-my-teeth-through-it activity and you know you have to do it daily for the next decade. Yes it sounds depressing, but I'm doing it anyhow, and you'll too, somehow :)

My XH is devout lds. My ex fil was bishop and high counselor for about a decade. It was terribly disfunctional and made me miserable. See you over on ILIASM.

Thanks...I'm staying...although I desire otherwise

Sometimes Love is unpredictable when you were feeling you were wrong of loving and staying your life with a man.. Just be strong woman thats only words that I could say..