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Valentine's Day Fight.. Feeling Crushed :-(

A personal story in the experience: I Had a Bad Valentine's Day
B oth my boyfriend and I (we live together) really don't celebrate Valentine's Day. We've never hyped it up in the three years we've been dating. However, last year he pulled all the stops and got me these reallllly sweet and thoughtful gifts. Most women complain ( I do too) that their men don't really pay attention to what they have to say, so needless to say, I felt foolish realizing that he did pay attention to what I had to say and he acted on it. This year, I decided I was going to do the same thing, be sweet to him.. I am mostly sweet to him all through the year (even though we fight and argue) because I really love him and love being with him.. This year, he asked me what I want and I said I didn't want anything, which is true, I really didn't.

Past few months have been pretty tough for the both of us (me stressed out about my job etc) and I decided I was going to get something thoughtful for him out of appreciation for all that he is and all that he does.  I paid attention to what he got excited about and zeroed upon a pair of shoes he had been looking at for months. He wanted to get them but couldn't really afford them, he said he was going to wait till they go on sale etc.. Everytime he had to go to the mall to pay bills, he would stop off at the store to look at the shoes.

I thought perfect, I'll get him those shoes. Now mind y'all, I am highly superstitious. I've heard this superstition that if you buy your loved ones shoes they will walk out of your life. My desire to get those shoes for him (call it my love or whatever) won over my superstition. I mustered enough courage to make the decision to buy those shoes for him..

Now trouble was I couldn't recall what those shoes looked like... I pulled in two of my friends to help me create this elaboratore ruse to get that information from him. Finally this past weekend, he forked up the picture of the shoes (Nike website).. Armed with the picture, I went to three different malls before I found the shoes.. Apparently, they were exclusive to a certain dealer.. Elated, I found the shoes, I bought them, wrapped them and kept them in my car... I was excited that the he didn't even have a clue.. Today, when I got home from work (extremely stressful day at work) I left the gift on the couch, waited for him to come home (earlier today I'd got into a mini argument with him because he didn't respond to a text message I sent to him).. He came home  and looked at the gift and I urged him to open it..

He didn't really open the gift all the way through but figured out what the gift was.  He looked at me and said, "Why did you get these shoes, I am not going to open the gift anymore, take it back to the store.... I want to buy it myself. Why couldn't you just send me flowers or something like my bestfriend did today?"........ I am totally crushed............

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Posted Feb 14th, 2007 at 7:48PM
His reaction was weird. It is not your fault - you were really considerate to buy the shoes. He will probably realise that later (but might not admit it). Personally I would say "OK" and take the shoes straight back. I would not get an alternative gift - I'd just leave it at that. He was ungrateful and didn't say thank you. The ungrateful deserve no gifts. Don't let this event cause you any more pain. And don't bother asking him why he didn't like the shoes or anything about the shoes - you'll only start an argument. If he buys the shoes, just ignore them and pretend they are just any shoes. If he says, "I got the shoes", just say "Oh, yeah - they're nice" and walk away. Of course, you are wondering, "why did he act like that when I gave him the shoes?". Don't waste your time trying to get an answer to this question. The truth is probably, he was in a lousy rotten mood and felt like sharing it. But if you ask him he will feel that he has to make up a good reason. The reason will be hurtful because he can't think of anything else to say at the time. Then the whole thing will escalate into an argument that ruins your day and is pointless.
     
Posted Feb 16th, 2007 at 6:39PM
That is a weird reaction. Maybe he felt that he worked so hard to get them that they wouldn't mean as much if they were just given to him. Anyway like the post above, I agree. Oh and by the way, we do pay attention, it is that we just don't think about it when you want us too. But it is in there somewhere, lol.
     
Posted Mar 12th, 2008 at 9:42AM
Maybe there was sentimental value of the shoes as a reward.. or symbolism of his hard work earned by himiself... There's probably a good reason for that strange reaction, just talk about it :)
+2 nods     
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