Supposed Best ''friend''

I was best friend with a girl my age from when we were age 8 - 17. We spent a lot of time together, told each other everything and oh boy did we ever laugh! Her family accepted me as their own and vise versa.Our relationship had its ups and downs but over all we had a very close and strong friendship (maybe even a little unhealthy).
At the age of 17 we moved into a two bedroom apartment together - her boyfriend and herself in one bedroom and my boyfriend of the time plus myself in the other bedroom. At first things were good but it became clear very quickly that living together was not the same as simply being together a lot.
I had suspicions about her ''promiscuity'' because she would cheat on her boyfriend sometimes and even though I felt badly for him I also was her best friend, figured it wasn't my place and I kept my mouth shut.
One night she was out on a date and my boyfriend was at work so her boyfriend and myself were home alone. He started saying sexually suggestive things to me and asking me sexual questions which I was uncomfortable with and so I told her the next morning trying to protect her well being.
About a month after this incident I went to visit my family and her boyfriend went to work so my boyfriend and her were home alone. I found out the next morning that they had sex.
At first I was devastated, I felt I had lost not only my boyfriend but my best friend and almost immediately I moved back home and cut contact with both of them. Anytime she would try to contact me I would lose my mind on her and eventually she stopped trying. I was more angry with her then my boyfriend because I couldn't believe she could do that to me knowing how I felt for him and being my supposed ''best friend''. I regretted not sleeping with her boyfriend for a long time and the whole situation took me very long to get over. Even to this day (almost 4 years later) I still have trust issues.
In hindsight I can see how she would of done that to me. . . She came from a very dysfunctional family with a poor upbringing and still continues to have many struggles that most people our age don't ever have to face. I can understand how she did it or why she did it but I can never forgive her or even think about trusting her... Even just talking about her gives me the heebie jeebys let alone actually talking to her.

Banni Banni
18-21, F
Mar 15, 2011