It Started Out Small

I've had a crush on my old lecturer for quite a few years. It started out small, I thought he was attractive, but I never got to cultivate those feelings as I didn't see him that often. So it was nothing big then.

The past year, however, I've been studying post-grad in the same building as him and so have the opportunity to see him more often. I'm not in a relationship and never have been so I figured I'd let myself think about him a bit more.

I thought it would be innocent enough and that it wouldn't affect me that much, but I've grown to really desire him physically despite the fact that we've barely even talked in the past two years. I fantasise about him while I'm at Uni sometimes and it interferes with my studies. When I find out that he's not going to be in his office the rest of the day, I usually want to leave uni as well and he is the biggest reasons I go into Uni every day even if I don't have to. So now, I don't know whether this little crush has grown beyond my control and whether it can still be considered innocent.
faston77 faston77
22-25, F
1 Response May 8, 2012

I have a consuming crush on my teacher/lecturer at the moment. Its horrible as I am unsure of whether he like me back, he gives me signs but then the next day he gives different signals. He smiles flirty, beautiful smiles to me, treats me different to the other students. He smiles like, all the time when we talk. He has the most delicious accent and gorgeous green eyes. Every time he gets close to me in class I just melt and I get shaky despite appearing to keep my cool. He seems to blush too and I just love being in his company. What to do?? I dunno, I'm not brazen to ask him out or whether he likes me. I have a boyfriend too. Talk about complicated matters!

It's the same here. I make a point of walking past his office as many times as possible (though it's really quite easy because I have to pass his office if I want to go to the toilet, and I have friends in the office down from his). One time I was walking past his office and talking with my friends, and he was sitting facing the door talking to one of his students to his side. He had looked up, we made eye-contact and I forgot what I was saying to my friends at the time. I wonder why it was me he made eye contact with and not the others. Is it because...of something...or do I have an over-active imagination. And another time, I was at the photocopying machine and he was unlocking his door. It was a bit far and I wasn't wearing my glasses, so I actually stared for a while to confirm it was him...and he stared back at me while he was trying to get his door open. You just kinda wonder why you do it to yourself...