dear senenmut

I've had him for two semesters now ...
And by had, I mean, sat in the front row of his class,
listening to endless lectures of ancient eras,
botched deliveries through gruff, velvet lined vibrations.
I never liked guys with accents.
I never liked twenty year age gaps.
I guess he's different.

When our eyes meet, his blue/green/hazel begins to orange,
mimicking sunsets on the Nile Delta.
A brow raise, a sly smirk, barely there, split second, just for me to see.
The way he jittered and jumbled his words on the first day of class,
hiding behind a chair as he lectured..
I'm too perceptive, Professor. I knew you were hiding.

And yet our conversations have never foregone professionalism.
You're married (though I suspect very recently divorced).
You're shy...about these things. So am I.
I suspect we both lack the confidence to make a connection.

The way you said my name yesterday..
Sprawled out in your chair like a king, overconfident, apathetic.
Is it that the semester is ending?
You never act so casual, so direct.
Were you trying to prove a point? Is it desperation?
During your slow motion pencil pass, your hand almost grasped mine.

I need to know. Your generation renders me clueless.
I suppose I'll have to make another end-of-semester stop at your office..

Maybe we'll discuss more than financial aid this time around.
jenbul jenbul
18-21, F
1 Response Dec 15, 2012

:) how did it go? The visit?