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Finally Conected With My Soulmate

I had a dream last night that I finally connected with my soulmate,The dream was so surreal and pleasant, but when I woke up .... I felt sad, because my husband is still here. I know it sounds bad but you must first understand that I found out (or should I say our oldest daughter found out) he was having an affair with one of our employees. I have taken her to therapy, along with my yougest daughter(she doesn't know but could definately sense tension ). I confronted the woman and she was totally forthcoming with alot of information. I allowed her to keep her job, but I looked her in her eyes and said to her " I did some things when I was younger and I am not proud of them, I respect that you were honest with me, stupid but honest. I only hope that when you have your own family, you don't find yourself having this same conversation. (I do belive in karma). She stayed at the company for 2 months, untill I looked through the payroll and saw the over time hours...I then told her she lied, (she had said she never logged o/t) and she was fired. she called me on 3 occasions to tell me her mother had been hospitalizied, and she thinks it was her karma. Her mother is fine thankfully, but that was not the type of Karma I was speaking of.

I am still sickened by the whole affair. Not to mention the fact that at 4 months pregnant, the baby was lost, 1 month prior to her coming to work for us. I cannot touch him, hold him, kiss him, or let him sleep in my bed. I just can't let it go. And I also think of what kind of role model I would be for my daughters if I just pretended everything was fine . That is the cowards way out and my daughters are so strong and beautiful inside and out.I am sorry I am rambling this is my first time posting anything, and as you can tell I have alot on my mind. My friend told me I could write a book, my response was...A Trilogy.

Namaste40 Namaste40 41-45, F 3 Responses Jun 11, 2009

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I think this dream represents your desire for a real romantic partnership. In your waking life, you definitely don't feel that way. I think this is your inner self telling you how much it values and wants that kind of romantic connection. Perhaps you are debating on some level how you want to handle your husband's infidelity, and you're torn between wanting to be a good parent and role model to your children and wanting to have your own happily ever after. I think this was your subconscious chiming in.

Thank you Mary. I would never be unfaithful, I am too good of a person to go to that level. I just find it interesting that in my heart and in my subconcious mind, these images are coming to me. I found out about the affair may 4 2008, I have gone through alot of the emotions and healing phases associated with this type of infidelity. I would never disrespect my family, or myself by being with another . I read your profile, I am glad we connected, we have some things in common.<br />
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Namaste

you sound like you are dealing with things the best that you can ,,,but if you want someone else it is best to get devorised,,,because two wrongs don't make a right,,,you are a very strong Goddess,,and I am here for you if you want someone to talk to,,,Love and Light Mary