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We're Out of Gas...literally.

I took my two toddlers and my grandmother to the mall for the thanksgiving sale, and by the time I reached home with a pouty grandmother and sleeping kids there was no gas in the car.  My husband with no job or money was heading out when I told him there was no gas in the car.  I gave him my credit card and told him "gas only". He was outraged that I had such nerve, and told me I should have filled it up.  I probably should have, but I was pretty frustrated after the day. He throws the keys and my credit card on the sofa and says "forget it, I'm not going anywhere". I grab the stuff and tell him I'm going to put gas in the car. He walks out to the poarch. I leave.  When I get back he's fussing at me for being an irresponsible parent and leaving our sleeping children alone in the house while he was on the poarch.  I was just trying to keep the peace and put gas in the car.  We yell back and forth and he tells me how childish I was and I should be a better parent.  I know I'm a damn good parent and the whole fight was nonsense.  I would never intentionally leave my children in harms way and it ****** me off that he would even go there. 

longing2smile longing2smile 26-30, F 3 Responses Nov 29, 2008

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He doesn't realize he's a parent, too. Those children don't have only mother, but also father. That is not due to the financial problems, it he's way of thinking. Don't fool yourself with that. You now need to load yourself with A LOT of patience, because this is just the beginning. Until he gets job, he'll be constantly tensed. He asks himself if you still respect him even now, when he can't provide the necessary things and he'll start arguing with you each time he feels even a slight wave of "I don't trust you", or "You're not good enough". <br />
It's not your fault, it's not he's fault. You can make it through this, too.

Sounds like the stress of family finances and holidays is getting the best of you both all at once. Take a deep breath, then think back to a moment when you two last had a good time. A smile, a warm hug or a glance even across the room. Let the dust settle and just say "I think we are both a little stressed out". its hard times out there right now.. I feel them everyday myself. .. also, you are not an awful parent.

wow, I could see him getting mad if he wasn't around the house at all and you left,but he was on the porch, he would have been able to take care of any issue that would have come up....It's ridiculous that he would stoop so low as to say you are a bad parent, there is never any cause to say such a thing unless the person in question does truly horrible things and doesn't care, which I am betting you don't.He is the one that is childish throwing a tantrum because you didn't put gas in the car than refusing to put it in himself and fussing.....I personally feel you did nothing wrong, if this is an ongoign issue with the two of you I would suggest sitting down and hashing it out:) Best of luck doll:)