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She Was A Beautiful Person......

I had a great mother. But sadly she was an alcoholic when we grew up. She as never physically or mentally abusive to us, I think she drank to get away from our abusive father, he was harsh on her....she had protected us every chance she got from him, and took harsher beatings for that....but no matter what kind of pain she was, she always ad a smile on her face.
My mother passed away two and a half years ago. I lost many years with her, my mother left my father, and she attempted to take us girls with her, but my father topped her, so she went to go and get cleaned up, healthy and to come back and get us...we were just young little girls. I barely remember this all.......
Well my father split us up into foster homes, my mother could not get us back....I lost 18 years with her.... I could not find her,she had changed her name in fear of my father finding her, well one day we did. I only got about 7 years out of my mother before she passed away from congested heart failure at a young 60 years of age.
She was the kind of person where she could walk into a room of strangers, and leave with over half of the room totally love her, she had a kind, gentle heart, always made people feel good to be around her, you knew she really cared about you.
My mother had a rough life, she was born premature, so right from the beginning she had a rough start, and along with that seris of health issues being so small as a baby. Her whole life sh fought, just to be loved and accepted, a place in the world all her own, she never got it it...my mother was cheated out of her life, she did not deserve what she got.
When we came back in contact with er, I forgave her on everything, she was off the booze, cleaned up her life, I did not care about what she used to be, just being with her then mattered to me, but my sister punished her, for being apart, when it was not her fault, for being an alcoholic, people makes mistakes in lives, it is what they do about the mistakes in life what matters, my mother fought to be free of booze, and she did it, in hopes that one day she would see her girls, and she did....but my sister would not forgive her, she was angry and embarrassed by her, hurt her emotionally, was superficial with her, my mother begged her for forgivness...but she would not give it, I can understand my sister for being angry, but there has to come to a point, where you have to let go, and just be....but my sister would not.....
My mother spent the last 3 months of her life in the hospital, dying of congested heart failure and other health issues that were killing her, her heart was the main killer of her. I saw her every chance I got, being I lived over 500 miles from her, while my sister lived 40 minutes from her, she could not be bothered to see her often, knowing she could die any day, any minute....
My mother expressed a fear to us..... feared that our father would come and see her....i assured her he would not come near her while she was in the hospital....my sister and I stepped outside to go and get some air and have a cigarette out side...well I look across the parking lot....and could not believe whom I saw walking across it......it was our father...the anger and hate I had for him....not only did he beat our mother senseless, but us to.....and other horrible things he did to us.......
I stepped infront of him, and stopped him from going inside, knowing where he was going....it was the first time ever facing off with him...and the fact I am now taller than him, but I had no fear of him then, and told him to leave, or the very breath in him would stop.....and that if he ever came near her, the same would happen, my sister's reaction was awful, she was actually giving me hell talking to him like that...what right did he have to go up and lay eyes on my mother, when she is at her weakiest, and feared him....I told my sister to **** off and he is not going up there to see her, and I am respecting my mother's wishes, he looked me in the eye and told me he always hated e, that I was nothing, it did not hurt me one bit, he is a monster,
Long story short, my mother passed away days later, I came to see her, and of course my sister was not there, she hardly saw my mother....I went to lay down with her on her bed, we fell asleep, the nurse woke me and told me she had passed.....broke my heart, her heart finally stopped beating, (half her heart muscles were dead) she looked so peaceful, at rest....but it killed me to have her leave, we did not get much time together, not enough, only seven years......
at the funeral, one of my mother's wishes were not to be sad, but be happy, so we played her favorite music, made her favorite dishes, and was a happy moment, even though it was sad.
It took me a long time to put her in her place with me, I missed her so much, and could not let go of her that when I came home, I had made a shrine of her, had become obsessed with er, had her every where, my therapist said in time I had to take the shrine of her down because I was not grieving right, was not accepting her death...which he was right, a month later, I took the shrine down, and left a few pictures of her, and now she is in my special place,
I did have a great mother!!
SassyBabe39 SassyBabe39 41-45, F 2 Responses Nov 23, 2010

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You did; my dad was a drinker, but the night he came home with 18 bottles and drank 17,my mother put her foot down and told him to stop. He did, and for the remaining 19 years they were married, he didn't touch liquor in any form - or after my mom died,either.He survived her by almost twenty years.

Well i will not hang onto the memories of my father...he was an evil cruel man, and he damaged my mother so bad, i have erased him right out of me, he deserves death as what he did to her!! and all of us kids...what he did....<br />
I hang onto my mother inside because she was a beautiful person, gentle by nature, so full of love, but yet taken down by sadness, she deserved so much better, I will love her forever!!