Why Not Now...?
For all of the depressing aspects of my personality that I've shared on EP the last little while, it might leave one with the impression that my current state of emotional distress in rooted deep in my past. Well, it might be true on some deep, subconscious level, but as far as I know, nothing really traumatic from my childhood could superficially explain why I am the way I am now. I was a happy kid. Shy, yes, but still made friends quickly, had quite a few of them and generally enjoyed the same typical activities that all kids do. Riding bikes, sleepovers, birthday parties, etc. I really don't remember being "depressed" or unhappy as a child. If anything, there was much more laughter and fun associated with me than there was sadness. So I do occasionally look back on those times fondly, remembering when I actually felt truly happy and content. I don't know if I'll ever feel that happy again, but I can sure hope.