Still Here Despite Her

What do you say about a childhood that your mother was determined to crush out and sweep down the back door steps?
HoneyBlossom HoneyBlossom
41-45, F
4 Responses Jul 9, 2010

How about what not to say? Don't call her mother, she isn't. Don't call it love, it's not.

I relate as well. My mother is truly a despicable human being. I have had countless compassionate conversations with her and she is still a monster. <br />
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I want to be carefree the way I never got to be, and I think I'm finally getting there. <br />
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I really hope you are doing well (I'm not, but I haven't remotely given up on life) <br />

Sounds like my "childhood" too (to the degree that you can even call life with a person like this for a parent a "childhood." Now my mother can't figure out why I don't trust her...please, she all but expects me to bow down to her like she's some kind of a goddess...but given the way she treated me, and still treats me when she thinks she can get away with it, she deserves nothing but anger from me. Given my spiritual convictions I try to give her love instead, because in my path we give according to people's needs, not their merit...but WOW is it hard. And in truth I spend more time by far fantasizing about telling her what I really think of her than I do actually wishing her well.<br />
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Sorry to hear you're dealing with the same kind of insanity I am. I wish you all the healing in the world, and may your worst tomorrow be better than your best yesterday.

Gee, I have a mother who did the same thing and now she wonders why we are not close. I am sorry that you missed out on childhood. I did as well. I have done everything I can with my kids from camping, traveling to go-carts to arcades to be sure that they enjoyed thier childhood. We have never had a lot of money but I always made sure we were family. They have grown up with out a Grandmother, who ignored them by choice, but they know that I will always be there for them.