A Glass Of Wine And A Tear.

I celebrated the 5th anniversary of her hysterectomy this November all alone with a glass of wine and a tear. Five of the most difficult years I’ve ever endured. Oh I know it’s not been easy for her ether; she weighed 120 pounds before the surgery and despite her best efforts she now weighs 165 and I barley recognize her.
Sexuality has been non existent for five years now and each night a settle for a quick peck on the cheek good night. My dreams however are of a different world, a seductive world of bare breasts and women with long flowing hair, I awake feeling guilty. I reach for her warmth and love in the darkness of night but she pulls away tucking the covers between us. I am lost, alone and rejected.
She is a wonderful person, a good mother and I love her dearly. I want nothing more then to grow old with her and celebrate our lives together. My biggest fear is that next November when I celebrate the 6th anniversary of this God forsaken surgery, it may be in the arm of another.

whitepine1 whitepine1
51-55, M
4 Responses Dec 23, 2010

I am very happy that things are going better for you and am confident your husband appreciates all your efforts. I am not a bad man and have never been unfaithful but when weeks without that closeness turn into months, it becomes difficult at best. I think your analogy may be correct with regard to depression. I should have thought of that myself. <br />
Thanks for your advice Quity56!

You are the second man in the same age bracket having the same problem. Coming from a women who has gone through menopause, I think you men are not approaching it right most of the time. Sex that worked when I was 20 doesn't work now. Do you guys ever talk about this with your wife? Your breast and long hair sounds like you miss the girl on the cover of every magazine and not the person you go to bed with at night. Trust me if your having dreams (which are normal by the way) like that at night she's smart enough to figure out your not reaching over for a cuddle session. Right now she needs to be wanted for who she is and she has to feel like the person she is with finds her incredibly attractive and sexy. If she has lived a life believing that the 120lb sexy women she once was is what made her attractive and now she is 40lb heavier you can bet her self esteem has left her right along with that seductive hormone our bodies looses when we hit this point in our life. Sex can be the best you have ever had during this time of your life but it will also be the most intimate that you will have ever had. Love and sex grow up when you reach our age.

Thanks lilmissunderstood, I do love her dearly but miss her warmth.

That is so sweet. Your wife is lucky to have someone who loves her as much as you clearly do.