Codiana Brooke

A month before I turned 13, I lost my virginity to someone I grew up knowing. His name is Cody and he was 19. I found out I was pregnant and was terrified. When I told him, he was terrified, too, and told me if I didn’t have an abortion he would never speak to me again. I couldn’t bring myself to do it, so I decided to keep my baby. I also decided I wouldn’t tell my parents until I was too far along for an abortion. I loved being pregnant. I gained a little weight, and gained a little bitty bump on my belly. I would lie in bed at night and hold my tummy. I would sing to my belly, and talk to it. I decided on two names: CodiAna Brooke for a girl and Liam Ryan for a boy.

On April 13, 2008 I started spotting and I thought it was completely normal. Then, April 18, I started having really bad cramps. Around 8pm that night, they got way worse. No pain medicine I took was helping, either. I drew a warm bath and curled up in the water, hoping it would soothe the pain. About a half an hour later, I noticed I was bleeding in the water. Like, clots of blood. I crawled out of the tub and sat beside my toilet, feeling extremely nauseous. Then, I started throwing up. Everytime I did, I felt my abdomen tighten, and I felt more blood come out. My entire body ached, especially my pelvis. I started to get extremely light-headed and dizzy. I curled up into a ball and cried on the bathroom floor. Then, I felt another really hard pressure in my pelvis, like I was passing a big blood clot. I looked down and what I saw was greyish and about the size of a prune or a ping pong ball. I picked up my baby and checked her gender. I looked her over, little feet, little everything. I named her and held her close to me and went to sleep crying. In the morning, being 13 and scared, I didn’t know what else to do, so I kissed my baby, wrapped her in toilet paper, and told her goodbye. I lost my daughter at a little over ten weeks.
lunaria23 lunaria23
18-21, F
1 Response Aug 20, 2012

What did you do with the baby. This is so sad. I'm going to be 19 tomorrow and I'm 3 months pregnant