I Didn't Even Know...

I had a miscarriage April 3, 2012. I'll probably never forget that day. I was barely 15, but I knew I wanted a baby. It was all I ever thought about. My ex boyfriend and I had it all planned. We even made sure to have unprotected sex on the date of my ovulation. But, I thought nothing of it. I suspected I probably was. But, no one knew anything except for the dad and me. I didn't realize when I'd missed a period, and continued to live my daily life. But, one night I started getting these horrible cramps. I wouldn't tell anyone what was going on, because I was scared. But, I was at the point to where I was doubled over in pain. Nothing had ever hurt me so bad in my life. Then, I started bleeding, and i thought well, you know, just a bad period. But the bleeding got heavier and the cramps got worse. Eventually, I decided I'd get in a hot bath to see if the cramps would go away. And, I couldn't just sit there. It hurt so bad, the only way I was even remotely comfortable was if I was curled into a ball. But, when I got out of that bath, the room began to look like a horror film, and I couldn't stand up. I ended up wrapped up in a towel squatted down. And, I delievered a baby. I wasn't very far along, but I knew what came out of me. It was in a little see through bubble. and you could see "his" eyes. Looked like he even had a little tail. I lost it. The baby wasnt even an inch long. But i could see him. It broke my heart into a million pieces. I continued to hurt for days after I lost my baby. It was scary. Not a day goes by that I don't think of my baby. S/he would've been born right around this month, and that baby would be mommy's pride and joy. I can't wait to finally meet my son or daughter in Heaven, someday. I know I'm young... But that's the greatest love I've ever felt.
An Ep User An EP User
Jan 22, 2013