My Story. V.long :

i found out i was 11 wks pregnant on january 25th 2010. being only 16 and still studying for my A levels, i was terrified. i have always been against abortion, so i knew straight away that i was going to keep it. the next day i noticed that i had started bleeding. i was terrified, i had only just found out i was pregnant and knew i could be losing him already. i went to see my GP and he said that it might not be anything to worry about as i was due on my period at that time anyway and some bleeding can be normal,although he did warn me that there was still a chance i would have a miscarriage.
the bleeding gradually got heavier over the next two days, so i rang the midwife who booked me in for an ultrasound the next morning. on thursday night i started getting period type cramps in my stomach and back, that night i got no sleep as the pains got more and more intense and could feel my womb contracting. i got up in the morning to get the urine sample which i needed to take with me to the hospital and i couldn't stop the blood flowing. i filled the toilet bowl before screaming for my mum. i knew there was nothing i could do now. i had never seen so much blood before
we went straight to the hospital, the midwifes and nurses were amazing and helped put me at ease, they examined me and removed the blood clots which helped to stop the pain. they also said that my cervix was still tightly closed, however i shouldn't get my hopes up. a doctor came along and examied me and said my cervix had started opening so there was nothing they could do, she removed a small amount of 'tissue' and gave me pills to 'speed up my labour' which didn't make anything happen. whilst in hospital i lost that much blood and my blood pressure dropped to 40/50 and my body went into shock but i managed to remain concious so that i knew what was happening.
over a month after my miscarriage i was still finding it really hard to deal with, also the bleeding hadn't stopped. i went back to hospital and was taken for an ultrasound and on the screen i could see my baby still there. it was really hard to deal with, i was rushed straight for an emergency D&C and had tests done to check for infections, due to the amount of time my baby had been there for.
i had split with the dad before i found out i was pregnant. the day i was in hospital he was great and came with me for my check up 2 days later. but then he became more withdrawn and didn't talk to me. i knew he was upset to but this made it much harder for me to deal with. i'm not talking to him at all know, because whilst i was trying to celebrate my birthday he started telling me that i need to move on and forget about the baby, because he has! my mum just kept saying the same things, like 'at least i know i can get pregnant' and the worst one 'at least you lost it when you did and not later on, because you were only 12wks, it wasnt fully formed'
i would of been due in 3 weeks and 5 days. my parents are taking me on holiday then to take my mind off it, but it won't work. it's all i can think about day and night. i have 2 cousins due at the same time i would of been and i'm finding it really hard to congratulate them and be happy for them when i should be in their position too. i can't help but think that i could of done something differently and this wouldn't of happened.
however i know that there is plenty of time for me to have kids in the future, from this experience i have realised what i want to do with my life and i am going to work hard to achieve that. i will NEVER forget my baby, he will forever be in my heart.
sweet dreams Marley Kirby-Livesey, i love you  xxxxxx

meeegank meeegank
1 Response Jul 21, 2010

im so sorry 4 ur lose i lost my baby boi 5 weeks ago i no what your goin threw i was 3 monthes and 5 days