After Several Mc's, Had 2 Kids At 38 And 42

Just briefly, I had several miscarriages in my late 30s. I was scared I'd never have kids, which was my dream. In the end I had two kids much later! It was random: Some eggs develop properly, some do not. Unfortunately you may have to have some MC's before success. Many times, a miscarriage is caused by a random issue with the egg - there are just some eggs that will not develop into a child. Often, we think maybe it was something we did right before the miscarriage that caused it (a fight with a boyfriend, stress, something we ate) and it turns out it had nothing to do with it. So many people are stressed or have lots of trauma while pregnant and they still give birth (look at the teen moms on tv!) I worried that I had one of my miscarriages because I was running up and down stairs all the time at work. Turns out, after testing, the fetus had downs syndrome and wasn't going to develop any further. If I'd never had the testing, as many people do not, I might have gone on thinking I'd done something wrong. There are, of course, other reasons you can miscarry, and if you have more than 2 mc's they will test you to see if it's a clotting disorder or something else (which is also a common reason and can be easily treated - it's just a shame that sometimes women don't realize they have it until they've miscarried a few times!)

I wanted to post this around Mother's Day for all the people who had a miscarriage or more. I just want to make sure that A you don't blame yourself and B you don't fear never having children, because there are so many tests and ways to have children these days. Even if you need fertility treatments and are broke, if it's in your heart, tell everyone you know that you need money and you want to do it. As an older mom, I know all about it now.

A good book to read is Coming to Term by Jon Cohen, and Inconceivable: A woman's triumph over despair & miscarriage by Julia Indochiva. I don't blow sunshine up people's butts, but these books have facts and things that will help you move toward having a kid after infertility or miscarriages, because they get down to the facts and give you hope based on real reasons. They are good to read. Happy Mother's Day! I've read a lot of the posts here, and from the love in your posts I can see you'll make great mothers if that's what you want.
writ39 writ39
1 Response May 12, 2012

Thank you so much for posting this. This Mother's Day should have been my first... but I miscarried, twice, in the last year. My husband and I are getting ready to try and conceive again and I'm very anxious/excited/unsure. Reading your post and hearing your story and the information you shared is exactly what I needed. It was very uplifting. Thank you again!