What Are We Supposed To Feel?

We left it late - because of our circumstances - I was 45 and my wife was 36. And our daughter is wonderful.

And then of course we thought about a sibling. And now I'm 47 and my wife is 38. And it didn't work out. She had a miscarriage earlier in the week.

It wasn't unexpected. There had been problems and the doctors had said that it was likely. They were right.

Right now neither of us seems to be grieving. I think we both feel empty and numb but the anguish that I felt when my father died is just absent.

Is this normal?

More specifically we are blaming ourselves for thinking this was a good idea at our age. We are both of the opinion that we were too old and it was daft to even think about having another child.

Is this normal?

We're both a bit lost to be honest. We are going to have a few weeks away together and all I'm really looking for is some talking points. We've had some difficult times in the past but I think this is the first time I've ever felt like I don't know what to say.
wilsonk wilsonk
46-50, M
1 Response May 17, 2012

I know this story is old, but I just saw it.

It is fairly common to be numb at least for a while. It took me 3 months after a miscarriage to really feel it. Then I went a little nuts.