We Had So Many Hopes And Dreams

...I miscarried at 10-11 weeks it was so hard as we had already heard baby's heartbeat and had names picked out, we told all our friends and family it was our first and we were so excited. I got worried after I spotted just once but it worried me as I was scare I pushed my body too far the last couple of weeks because we were getting Married and just went on our honeymoon. The doctor did all the tests besides an ultrasound said it was fine. We went home but I started cramping then the next morning I was bleeding alot more and cramping and got scared, I just wanted to hear my baby's heartbeat again I didn't feel pregnant anymore though and I thought in the back of my mind iknew that baby had already stopped living. We went through all the tests and were gradually feeling better maybe things were ok?! Then found out in fact baby's heart had stopped beating. There was such crushing pain I was destroyed I felt like curling into a ball and dying I had such hope and we had all thought of baby as being apart of our lives already. I started resenting all the women out there with children they shouldn't have because thy are horrible parents and is just felt generally **** I just wanted to curl up with my husband and block out the world. They told me at the hospital that I could do a natural miscarriage but it could take a couple of weeks for everything to release and then there would be such pain and I have decided to do a d&c I feel bad because I just want the physical part of this miscarriage done so I can just deal with the emotional I just want to move on I want to try again but I'm scared atthe same time I already loved thus baby I don want to go through thus again
Xoxobabycross Xoxobabycross
1 Response May 24, 2012

I was devastated after my miscarriages (although I went on to have 2 kids after that). You should feel free to grieve for as long and as hard as you want. If it gets to be too much, you can see a counselor, but it is normal to start getting excited about your baby and then be so sad when you miscarry. Just remember that it sometimes happens and it's nothing you did wrong. Some eggs are not meant to develop fully...they are just made that way. Out of the millions of them, some have chromosomal issues. Often, we think maybe it was something we did right before the miscarriage that caused it (a fight with a boyfriend, stress, something we ate) and it turns out it had nothing to do with it. I worried that I had one of my miscarriages(it was at 9.5 weeks) because I was running up and down stairs all the time at work. Turns out, after testing, the fetus had downs syndrome and wasn't going to develop any further. There are sometimes other reasons, and if you have more than 2 mc's they will test you to see if it's a clotting disorder or something else. If you have a clotting disorder - and it IS common among pregnant women - they can give you aspirin and stuff so you won't miscarry next time. Hang in there!

Thanks so much i feel better just knowing that I'm not the only one going through this and I can make it, it will get better thanks for your advice I really appreciate it I don't know what I will do if I have another mc but I'm just going to hope for the best :)

I had a miscarriage also at 10 weeks and I don't know how i'll handle it if I miscarry again. I get so scared and I had so many nightmares just thinking of it. I wish you all the best