Still Find It Hard Everyday

Hey girls, i just need some support right now.
Im 19 years old and i found out i was pregnant on my boyfriends birthday 19th march 2012, we was so happy and excited i had two appointments with my midwife and got the date of my ultra sound whic was the 18th may, but by the 12th of may i had cramps and had some brown discharge s i went to the hospital and hey checked me over and checked the neck of my womb to see if i was miscarrying and they said no which i was so so so relieved about, they gave me a ultra sound on the 16th of may to see how my "baby" was, i was so happy to see him but after an hour of trying to find him they couldnt, i was brought to tears, the ultrasound techs and the consultant was so blunt and cold heart'd which just made me worse, i had a follow up scan on the 21st to see if everything went out f my system which it did the day after the second ultra sound which is the worse feeling i have to have gone through. every day i go through this ordeal especially because my aunt was 4 months pregnant at this time, now she has had her baby and i just sit and weep and have spurts of hysterics, i cant deal with all this, i just feel like why me ?!?, im back at y second year of uni and i thought it would help but i just cry even more and i cant talk to anyone, my boyfriend doesnt want to, my family n friends dont understand and i just need some help ........ thanks for reading and if u have any advice please i need it.
P.S. i brought my baby a teddy and some clothes before all this and i cuddle him every night and talk to him no one knows that and i cant even look in my cupboard where the clothes are :(
LucieRebecca LucieRebecca
18-21, F
1 Response Sep 9, 2012

i am sorry for you iunderstand the pain many night my wife cried her self to sleep as we knew we wouild never have children like the rest in our group