I Watched His Heart Stop.

I was 15 years old and i was living in Califonia at the time, And i was living with a sibling and their spouse in a tiny little shoe box of a house that was two bedrooms. so 3 people 3 dogs and a cat...and a baby no one knew about.

I had gotten pregnant by my boyfriend at the time. and he never knew the extent of what was going on with me. I did every thing i could to cover the pregnancy. baggy clothes, working extra hard with yard work and house work and school. no one knew...except my uncle...i could tell him just about every thing but even he didnt know every thing that happened.

i was about 3 months pregnant when i came home from school, i wasnt feeling well, i was sick to my stomach and i was in alot of pain. i cried for 2 hours in the shower hoping the warm water would make me feel better. i ended up giving birth to my baby in the bath tub, he was all in one pice and no bigger then the palm of my hand, he lived for 3 minuets maybe 5. and i could see his heart beating through his skin, his movements were vary jerky and uncontrolled i could tell he couldent breath.

my baby died in my hands and i watched as his heart stopped and his little body stopped moving. At the time i couldent think, or breath , and i was losing sight of every thing around me...i didnt know why and i didnt understand why that baby ment soooo much to me...until a few weeks ago, i remembered that i had also been pregnant at 13 years old...but that one had been taken from me...how i dont know..all i know was that baby when i was 13 wasnt aloud to live.

I feel compassion and Empathy for every one who has been through this horrible experience.
to lose a baby...or to have it forced from you by some other means...

Please take care of your selves..and your babies :D

SystemK SystemK
22-25, F
4 Responses Sep 9, 2012

Lost 2 babies both in my 5th month of pregnancy. Both boys. My heart goes out to you all as I do understand this pain.

I don't know what to say, that's just so sad :-(

I was 18. and the father didnt believe me when i told him that. he thought i was lying about the whole thing so i could get him back and my friends told me it was a lost cause and that i should just forget about all of it

wow i cried reading this story.