My Little Boy

I'm 19 years old and on the 29th September 2012 I lost my baby. I was 10wk pregnant. When I found out I was gutted as I'm young and have no idea but my partner is amazing and supportive and we knew we could get through what ever decision we made. After a few weeks of debating adoption we decide against it and to start a family of our own. This was soon to be taken out of our hands though..
On the Saturday night I was at my boyfriends cousins and went to the toliet to see a bit if bleeding. Straight away I panicked and shouted for Tom but he had gone out with his cousin! At this point no one in be family know but I was forced to tell them when I started bleeding.
Once Tom got back i went straight to the hospital where after doing an internal they said it was a period and I was never pregnant. I had taken 4 pregnancy tests which all came back positive! When I asked the nurse if they were all fake positives she said yes..even though i researched them and they are very rare. I went home in agony, and the bleeding only got worse. I woke up about 4am in a pool of blood and that's When I knew I had to do something about it. I rang NHS direct and they sent for an ambulance straight away as they were worried about the amount of blood I was loosing.
I stood up, and there was my baby, in a deep red jelly like sac..I covered him up and for a few minutes the pain stopped. I eventually got to the hospital and they confirmed a miscarraige - without an u/s or trans vaginal scan. I was praying it was all a mistake and my baby was still ok but 9 weeks down the line, it's defiantly over.
Now I think I'm pregnant again, but still waiting for conformation from the doctors. Nothing will ever replace my little boy, and I'm sure bs safe now. 'Everything happens for a reason' is not true, so don't live by it. I lost my baby because my parents threw me out and mentally abused me and now I'm still suffering.

N.R x
Naomi1320 Naomi1320
18-21
Nov 30, 2012