I Still Have Hope

We were thrilled to find out I was pregnant on October 25th. It was so hard to keep the secret, but my husband and I decided it would be a true surprise to wait until thanksgiving to share the big news.

Surprise turned into excitement and all kinds of happy feelings.

That quickly changed a week later. I was 10 weeks pregnant when I noticed some brown spotting after I went to the bathroom. I also experienced minor cramping. But then it got worse. The next morning, The spotting turned red and the cramps were worse. My husband and I went to the doctor for an ultrasound. There it was. Our precious little baby. But it had no heartbeat. It actually stopped growing at week 8.

Devastation, heartache... I don't know what word can appropriately describe how I feel. And I know other women reading this post will feel the same way. How do I explain to my parents that they won't be grandparents after all? How do I tell my young cousins that the new baby is gone?

My doctor scheduled me for a D&C next Wednesday. I'm not sure what to expect but I hope it doesn't hurt- although I don't think anything could beat the pain in my heart.

I'm holding onto hope though. Next time, we will keep this baby! It will be healthy. At least, I hope.
Ajrussell84 Ajrussell84
Nov 30, 2012