Surgery In The Morning

Absolutely terrified. That about sums up how I feel about the D&C (dilation and curettage) procedure, scheduled for 10 tomorrow morning. As if the emotional pain hasn't been enough... now I have to deal with this.

I've done some searching online the last few days, trying to find a decent blog or story about miscarriage. I have yet to find one that accurately describes the excruciating, gut-wrenching, agonizing cramping and contractions that come along with this heartbreaking loss of a baby.

I was 10 weeks along when I had my ultrasound. The baby was there-- but the heartbeat was not. It stopped growing at 8 weeks. Right then and there, my stomach dropped, my head hurt, my heart hurt, everything hurt. I was barely cramping and had started to see light brown spotting.

By that evening, the cramps started getting worse. So did the blood.

I'm going to be brutally honest as I share my miscarriage experience. That's what I hoped to find as I searched for clues as to what would happen to my body next.

-First, exhaustion. I felt very sleepy and just wanted to lay around on the couch. I wasn't even very hungry.

-Next, the cramps. My God, the cramps! They started around 7pm and didn't subside until about 10am (the next day!) Every 2 minutes, I felt a wave of pain, right in my lower back and abdomen. It actually felt like knives. Like.. 10 of them. Just stabbing me over and over again. Finally, after about :45, the pain would let up. Not completely, but it definitely wasn't as strong as these "contractions" or "labor pains."

-At around midnight, I felt a gush of liquid come out. I wasn't sure if it was blood or what. So I raced to the bathroom and all of a sudden, huge reddish/brown clots fell out. Just plopped into the toilet, which was also filled with my blood. It was hard to distinguish the size of the clot, but I was able to take a closer look using a tool. Some of the clots were the size of my hand. Others were about the size of a quarter. Very rubbery texture. For the next 8 hours, every time I felt a wave of severe cramping coming on, I raced to the bathroom to pass more clots.

-I am not sure if I passed the embryo or anything. It mostly looked like clots, but it was hard to tell with all the blood.

-I am finally able to get SOME comfort by taking 4 Motrin every 8 hours (per the doctor's orders.) I can't eat after midnight, and will have to get some bloodwork done in the morning before the procedure. I'm pretty nervous, but I know the D&C is very common.

-Will post again with some notes on how everything went. Prayers are welcome and very much needed!


Ajrussell84 Ajrussell84
26-30
1 Response Dec 2, 2012

I am praying for you. Physically, the hardest part is behind you, almost certainly. I still think
about the little one I lost 35 years ago,but I will see her one day in heaven,and you willsee your little one then, too.

Thanks so much for the comment. I think right now, I'm trying to come to terms with reality. I get what's happening to my body. But spiritually, emotionally and mentally, I need to understand that this DID happen. I really truly had a miscarriage. Never thought it would happen. How can I accept it? It doesn't feel real. It's comforting to know I'm not alone. Thank you.