If I Forget Is My Baby Forgotten?

In therapy I had to ask
If I forget my baby, since no one wants to talk about it, not the father( my exboyfriend/ fiancee) not my friends not even my Drs.
If I forget and say this never happened
there is no proof that my baby exsisted
non at all
it grew only in me 8 weeks 3 days
but according to my last period i would have been 9 weeks 3days but
no heart beat
I spoke to my baby when i first found out i was going to be a mom at 4 weeks. I joined babycenter to watch the progress of my baby
I already knew it was going to be a girl because I saw her in my dreams
(dont laught im Jamaican I believe in that stuff lol)
back to the story
I was high risk from the day the Dr said i was pregnant
they put me on progesterone
I switched Drs 3 times because I recently moved (to the carribean to be closer to my now X) so i was trying to find a dr i connected with.
anyway things started to get bad at 7 weeks when the dr said the baby isnt the size its suppose to be so they put me on bed rest.
the next week when i was suppose to be 8 weeks they said they should see a heart beat but non so they thought i calculated my period wrong.
At this point the bleeding started so I was on bed rest another week
they baby was hanging on but in my heart I knew something was wrong
My cousins went throught this and it was the exact situation .
So I knew.
I had a week of contractions, lost alot of blood.
Did I mention i recently moved.
I went throught this alone. I didnt want to see my boyfriend.
I hated him. I bleed alone, cried alone morned alone.
thats why I cant forget.
last weekend I had a melt down because I couldnt remember the date of the miscarriage.
I dont wanna forget my baby because if i forget then no one will know that my baby ever exsisted.
marleynme marleynme
31-35, F
Dec 8, 2012