Multiple MiscarriagesI had my second miscarriage in 8 months around Christmas. Ever since I was a young girl, I knew that I was supposed to be a mom. I've always loved kids, and I'm great with them. When my husband and I decided we wanted to have kids, we were lucky and got pregnant fast. My first pregnancy ended at 9 weeks. It took about 4 months before we were pregnant again. This pregnancy ended at 8 weeks. In both cases, we had an internal ultrasound that showed the heartbeat. Yet, for some reason, my pregnancies did not last. We have an appointment with a fertility specialist in a few weeks, and I'm happy we have a plan to figure out what's wrong. However, I'm still not ok with everything that's happening. I find myself having to put on a happy face when I walk out the door and all I want to do is stay in bed and hide under the covers all day. Anyone else feel that way? I talk about how I feel to my family and friends, and that usually makes me feel better, but then I find myself feeling worse because I'm thinking about what happened. I don't know how to pull myself out of this hole, but I'm sinking fast. It's like I'm going through PPD without the child and it's hard. I hate it. I almost don't want to even go to the specialist because I don't know if I want to even try and have another baby. My husband wants us to be intimate, but I don't want to risk us getting pregnant again. Does anyone else feel that they have to put on a happy face when they're dying inside? How do you deal with it?