When I started writing this experience I explained my story, but mid way I realised that I do not want to go into detail about how my miscarriage came about and all the medical terms, I want to express my emotional journey, my pain, my anger and frustration. You see, society sees a miscarriage as a minor issue, something certain women just unfortunately have to deal with. There is this common misconception that women who miscarry never know or loved what they had. Whether you lost YOUR baby in an early stage or later, the pain is real. The anger, hurt, frustration it is all real. People around you will say, "you can have another baby" , "god needed another angel" and thats great but I want my angel baby and thats really easy to say because god never took your angel. Some days I feel better and I actually take comfort in the fact that I'm a mother to angel, but then I'll see neglectful parents, mothers who consume drugs and alcohol during their pregnancies, teen moms who can't take care of their babies, girls casually getting abortions and parents on the news committing horrible acts of child abuse. But I was robbed of my pregnancy, of my baby of my dream? Where's the sense in that? To have it be so real and then have it snatched away like I was not deserving of being a mother. If one positive thing came out of this experience it is that I used to be afraid of dying, I am no longer afraid because I know my baby is up there waiting for me. I am a MOTHER and I will always be one I carry my baby in my heart.
tabrahams tabrahams
22-25, F
3 Responses Aug 21, 2014

You are so right, it's astonishing how much you can love something you barely had or knew about. I found out I was pregnant at 4 weeks and miscarried a week later, and I was heartbroken. It had taken us over 2 years to conceive, and I was so ready to love my child that I adored it from the moment the second line came up on the test, and I was inconsolable for days when I lost the pregnancy. Hopefully my little one is in a happy place, ready to watch over their little brother or sister when the time comes.

I completely understand how you feel!

I had a miscarriage, I didn't even know I was pregnant yet, nor was I trying, but once i realized what had happened i was so terribly upset. Others had lamented for me but I was still weeping and they were ready to move on. You are so right, they will never understand. And as much as my miscarriage hurt me, I can't even fathom how it feels when you are actually trying for a baby. I'm very sorry for your loss.