Emptyi didn¨t even know i¨m pregnant.. something gone terribly wrong all of a sudden, with my body, nerves, thoughts.. never led a still and happy life, and i have a heavy character, but it was different this time, some strange phase that i couldn¨t controll..
i was separating from my boyfriend then.. i taught i¨ll never tell.. to anybody..
i was so confused, still am, kinda lost and utterly alone.. pain, emptiness.. blackout..
i did tell him after some time, i couldn¨t keep it for just me.. mistake, fool to think it will do any good, it only led to another disappointment. i can¨t help myself to think he is happy with the fact i spared him from all my trouble and panic and fear and yearning and anxiety, and he didn¨t experience anything and thinks of it just as a story far away from him..
i feel simply awful.. in every possible way.. had to let it out somewhere..