My Jacob

i am 19 and i had a miscarriage january 18th 2010.  i wasnt far enough along to know the sex but i just knew it wud be a boy. my fiance and i had both decided on the name jacob.  we were so excited then one night i notice alittle pink in the shower ...the next morning was the start of the worst day of my life.  i spent 10 and a half hours in a hospital being poked and proded.  i had my blood takin 3 different times by the end of the day my fiance had to hold me up cuz i was so weak. i spent the first 2 hours in a waiting room crying.  it was the worst day of my life its been 2 months and i still cry about it.  i miss being pregnant and i miss my jacob. i did everything right i quit smoking the second i found out i was pregnant i was eating right and taking care of myself for my baby.  i dont understand why all those girls out there who drink and smoke while they r pregnant can have their babies but i cant.

j11810 j11810
18-21, F
3 Responses Mar 5, 2010

There is a reason this happened. I am a believe that all things have a reason. To us, it will never seem fair and I am so sorry this happened. I can tell you were going to be an amazing mother that would have all the love in the world for your baby. I am sure Jacob would have turned out to be a great man. <br />
It is hard to say if you were even ready at that time for a baby. But now, you surly will be. Jacob can't be replaced, but don't let that stop you from loving your next baby just as much.

i understand how you feel i also had a miscarriage. its soooo hard NOT to beat yourself up about and ask why and what if. i always ask myself why everyday women abort their unwanted babies and yet God didnt let me have my baby that I loved from the moment i found out I was pregnant. Its very hard to deal with i dont think one truly ever gets over it. completely

If you are doing the right things, it will tend to work out for you. Even though it does not reduce the pain, miscarriages are more common than you might think. You are not alone. Life goes on, and you can be happy again.<br />
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As for your smoking and drinking friends, you just wait and watch. The problems they heap on those poor children... And later they will blame the kids for problems they caused.