Too Much To Bear

I am a 15 year old boy, "going through hormones" and all that, my father is being accused of sexual assault of a minor, the irony in this would be that the girl of whom he touched? My ex-girlfriend. I thought that she was "the one", in all of these fairytale stories. Bullshit. She left me, not because of all the "it's my dad"  drama, but because I was hanging around with my friends (she suffers from paranoia, you see!). As if that wasn't enough, the bastard that call themselves "justicars"? The merciless legal system, the procurator fiscal? they expect me to stand witness!? HA! I wasn't even there, I had popped over there momentarily to get some cakes. And I have told the police AND C.I.D this... To make it all so awkward, the friend that I was hanging around with? One of my ex's, and it turns out, she ended our relationship because she thought that she would prefer being in relationships with other girls. Turns out, however, that she has still liked me since the break-up. Like most, I love my father, he is 43 years of age, never had a conviction,no matter how small, had tonnes of professions, from chef to doctor, marine biologist to carer! He has wanted to be a teacher/tutor for at least the past 5 years (Hence the reason I apparently write and read so well).
*A further rant about how the justice system is ****** below*
have been to the doctors, and have been diagnosed clinically depressed, however, since I am a minor, doctors are hesitant to give me anti-depressants albeit my mental health being very weak. I have tried the whole suicide thing, but I cannot bring myself to swallow the pills, kick the chair, or slit my throat. My problem with my doctors solution? I don't open up face to face with people who are meant to help. I am safely tucked away, behind a computer screen just now, so it doesn't matter what I say, my speech impediment won't act up, and neither will my twitch. Reality is a different - harsher - experience. The fact that I am sitting my standard grade exams all this month doesn't help... 

*So my dad went to see a lawyer, and he has seen three different lawyers in all three different times he has been in court, the first one said he would be with him all throughout his traumatic experience (to clarify, he is an introvert, much rather spend three hours in a chess match, or doing paperwork for his job, than be ten seconds in a social situation). In his 'intermediate diet' his lawyer couldn't show up because - get this - he chose to take that day off. So his case was shifted to another - even more hopeless - man. It has been guaranteed that he won't see either of those two, but another - third - lawyer. Why? Because he hasn't a lot of money, and alas, cannot pay for a lawyer, so he gets court appointed ones. Useless. Justice favours the rich indeed. He is facing  at most twelve months in jail. or at most nine, if he gets time off from good behaviour. 

Fxck this sh*t. Fxck my life.
Finnox Finnox
13-15, M
May 4, 2012