Warm Feeling..felt Calm

On Oct. 23 1999 in the early morning I was on the bow of the black cod boat (Royal Venture) In Queen Charlotte Sound. I looked back and saw a huge wave coming and screamed hang on while I grabbed onto the anchor chain with my bum to the wave. It hit the boat and myself with such force, that it peeled the wheel house roof back on a steel 100ft boat and the 2nd largest of her class in the canadian fishing fleet. I slid up the anchor chain with some serious force, it can only be compared to a hammer hitting the pad at a carnival, the metel shooting up the wire and DING!!! How my neck didn't break is a miricle in itself, but I digress. Oh yes, I was (the boat) under water for quite some time..I let go of that anchor chain and will, thinking (as I had time) the boat was going down, because we've been under water for too long. I let go of that line a feeling of calm, which I had always thought of as "losing conciousness".
What I didn't realize is that the boat had resurfaced and I was floating face down in the lazaret that encased the winch, held rops scotchmen's etc. The dark of the hurricane decieved me, I felt a weird feeling come over me and I leaped up. I was standing on the bow off the boat still, (one of the lucky ones) waist deep in freezing water. I had a massive goose egg on my forehead...Coast Gaurd air-lifted me and another guy off the boat some 8 to 14hrs later. I was poked for along time to ensure I didn't slip into a coma. I was eating icecream on the evening of Oct. 24th (My Birthday) in a hospital at the top of Vacouver Island! I never told anyone this.....reason being is I held allot of guilt inside when they airlifted me off the boat. I felt guilty for leaving my friends in that hurricane. They air lifted me out because I told everyone that I had lost conciousness, I lied because I new it would get me off that boat (theme I lie to avoid pain LOL). But I was very lucid, as I remember letting go of that line and everything else that went with it. I couldn't work for a year after that and never have forgotten the look on Brad's face as he drifted away from our dead in the water vessel, terror and dispare in his eyes, one arm in the air, not waving, just kind of straight up. I thought of his wife and and twins, just 1 month old? Poor Brad and his poor baby girls was all I could think as he drifted into the darkness of that hurricane............
mgtour mgtour
36-40, M
Jul 19, 2010