Giving Birth

I had a near death experience while giving birth to my second child.  It was eerie from the moment they brought me into the delivery room.  The sad walls were nothing to look at so I continued to stare up into the shiny silver lights overhead.  I was waiting; waiting for my husband to return back from home. I was waiting for the nurses, the doctors, the delivery. Waiting.  It was then looking into that light that I knew it was not good.  I began to sense knowing things I would not normally.  I knew when the doctor would come into my room.  I felt foreboding.  I was scared.  I had pre-eclampsia and during SARS I had to wait for a bed far too long.  I did not think I would make it. At one point I felt I better pray.  I heard a voice ask me if I believe in the tenants of God. I said I did not know what they were.  They suggested I learn.  Labour began as a surge.  I told them I should not have an epidural because it did not work last time.  They insisted because my blood pressure was too high.  The pain began and the epidural did not work.  The pain escalated as if someone was slicing my bodily threads with a knife over and over.  I watched my blood pressure rise and rise until the nurse turned the machine away.  My husband sleepily walked into the excitement and took a seat as if he could not share in this horrible adventure.  The doctor called for a c-section & my husband kindly asked why.  The doctor yelled, "Do you want her to die!". The team was lifting me and moving me to be wheeled out as if they were running a Nascar race.  I was sad and horrified and the doctor for one last strange reason said she would check one more time. I pushed like a SOB and that baby slipped out of my with a goopy sound. She was pure white and I was not allowed to hold her.  In the minutes following delivery the doctor asked the anaethisiologist what happened as she too suffered with more intense pain after the epidural.  There is a special name but it basically means that the pain is removed from three quarters but is magnified by three times as much in the quarter that did not take the medication.  They wheeled me off and would not tell me how bad I was.  They assigned me a full time nurse and a beautiful room with a view even though I was not eligble for a private room.  I had water on my lungs and it took me a long time to recover.  My friends thought something was wrong. My father could not sleep until he saw me in person.  I still fight the impulses of fear of dying to this day but I fight to live for the little girl I delivered that night. 
vatima vatima
36-40, F
4 Responses Oct 15, 2006

I had a very similar experience but I didn't have pre-eclampsia. They diagnosed me with pulmonary edema.

This is an inspiring story of great courage and determination!

All the best.

i had a heard time during my delievery process but as mothers we always put our selves on the line for our kids :)

Wow, that is similar to my birth experience except the pre-eclampsia actually got worse after the delivery...5 or 6 days after my daughter was born, my lungs filled with fluid and I couldn't breathe. High blood pressure, MRIs, CT scans, echocardiogram (?) etc. It all scared me to death. I feel like I have PTSD - and it's been over 4 years.