Something That Once Was

Those short three years we spent together felt like it had been forever. we had experienced so much , felt and overcame so much together. So when he asked me to marry him it felt only natural to say yes. I had friends who where also in the process of marriage so it was convenient to gather and try to plan together. This is the first time i realized how behind i was i didn't have any plans i hadn't spent years imaging my dream wedding . I knew so little about him it seemed when it came to the wedding all i could think about was how overwhelming it all was that the ring that symbolized eternity felt like a heavy burden. My fear of being tied down and all my hard work of becoming stable independent woman was coming to an end to fast. Over the first month i had progressed little in planning and more in escaping what i had created thinking of how easy it was to slip off the ring and undo the past. This ultimately became my goal telling him that i was not ready and going back to what we once where just became impossible he had a love for me i could not reciprocate and it was unfair to him to continue this lie. This is where i leave off i was able to tell him in so many words that this ring was a lie and i needed to restart my life just not with him. I never realized how hard it would be to fall in love but let my fear of being tied down break apart something that took so long to create.Im slowly restarting my life and realizing how hard it is to live a single life again all those memories i took for granted just flood back hauntingly from something that once was.
lilkaratepunk lilkaratepunk
18-21, F
Sep 13, 2012