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In the Rain

I had the perfect kiss. It wasn't my first kiss or my first relationship but it certainly was with my first love, maybe the only person I've ever truely loved.

I can't believe how long ago it was, almost ten years now. She still plays on my conciousness, the moments with her still flash in my mind's eye. Just as quickly as those pictures develop they swiftly turn dark and the feelings I yern out for fade. I've grown up a lot since then, since I was 15. I didn't really know her the moments before we kissed , 2 weeks earlier I never even knew she existed.

We'd been on our "first date" which was a less than exciting bike ride together. As we rode towards her house it started to rain. I bearly remember us getting there and laying our bikes down. I do remember the nervous moments before and how it was drained instantly from me the moment our lips touched, there in the rain. It coldly dripped down our faces, her warms lips on mine. I'm sure it lasted a long time, but I was lost in that kiss.

More perfect kisses came throughout the time we dated, almost every kiss was perfect. I can barely live without those kisses they still linger on my mind, constantly making me ask questions of myself and my relationships since.

Was it because she was my first real kiss?
Was it her, me or the both of us?
Was it only because of her?
Will I ever feel that way again?
Did she truely feel the same?
Will I ever feel like that again?

I miss the way we held hands, how we both clasped so tight like we would never let go. I miss the tightness in my chest, it worsened depending on her proximity to me. I miss reading her eyes, she never needed to say a word, everything she said was in her eyes. I miss the tears we had together, since then I've felt numb. I miss so many things, I miss her.
noirdreams noirdreams 21-25, M 2 Responses Jul 12, 2007

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i've had this same feeling..<br />
and i've wondered, too, if it was just him, and if i should even try to find it again<br />
perfect kisses are great..but they never last as long as we'd like

this is one of the most beautiful things i've read in quite some time. <br />
<br />
personally, i believe it's essential to try and find that type of perfection again. but i am a hopeless romantic...