Pregnant Again After My Placental Abruption And So Scared

I am currently 13 weeks pregnant, and I am terrified that I will go through another pregnancy and not get to meet my baby again, or worse, we both don't make it this time. My abruption happened back in July 2008, but I wrote this down immediately after it happened:

It started Sunday night. I had been having pains in my stomach on Sunday, but didn't think too much of it because this was my third baby and I figured that was to be expected. That night I was still having pains, even though they were come and go, not a constant pain. I just tried to relax, I layed on the couch and Ben started to rub my feet. I felt something warm down there, I thought that it felt like blood, so I went to the bathroom, and sure enough I was bleeding, a lot. I called to Ben immediately and told him I was bleeding we had to go to the ER. Ben was Superman, he got the kids ready in no time and helped me get together so we could go. In a few minutes we were at the hospital.

We arrived at the hospital and I told them I am 36 weeks, and I am bleeding a lot. She told me to go around to the window, which I did. The woman registered me into the hospital which took almost 10 minutes, and then I had to sit and wait for someone to get me. It took at least 15 minutes just in the ER waiting room. After I was registered and waiting for them to come get me it got incredibly hot and I was very nauseated. I asked for a cup of water and immediatly threw up after taking a sip.

Finally, I was wheeled up to labor and delivery where they promptly got the machines out and tried to find the baby's heartbeat. They thought they had it at first. I heard it too, they later told me that it could have been mine they were hearing, but I really don't think it was. In a matter of minutes the heartbeat they heard disappeared. If that were my heartbeat it wouldn't have disappeared.

My doctor came in soon after and he used the ultrasound machine to check the baby. She was gone. There was nothing they could do to save her. He told me that his main concern at that point was me because I had lost large amount of blood and I was very pale. They started inducing labor and gave me lots of state-all (I have no idea how that is spelled). I also had to have three bags of blood transfused into me. At 4:23 AM, my daughter was born, I guess you could call it that. She came out but she wasn't alive. This was the hardest part. With normal pregnancies that would be the time you listen for the sound of your baby crying, and we all knew my baby would not be crying that morning, or any other morning.

They cleaned the baby up and let us hold her. We had a digital camera, and there were a few photos taken, but all I could think about was how morbid it is to be taking pictures of a dead baby. Nonetheless, I wanted the pictures because I was never going to see her again.

Then they took her away, and that was the first and last time we got to see our daughter. I stayed in labor and delivery until six o'clock that night, and then they moved me over into the maternity ward. I spent one night in there, and then the doctors let me go home the next day.

HeathaC HeathaC
3 Responses Sep 16, 2012

My baby boy was born Mar 9, he is totally healthy and there we no complications. My OB was amazing! He understood my concern and did everything he could to minimize my fear. I had weekly ultrasounds after 28 weeks. I wanted to be induced at 36 weeks to be safe, but he did the amino check and he wasn't ready yet. I was induced at exactly 38 weeks. At 32 weeks I was going in for weekly BPP's, on top of the ultrasounds. My doctor joked I set a record for most visits to an OB, but the constant monitoring helped ease my mind. My advice to anyone in the same situation would be to do the same, keep an eye on that baby. Ultrasounds and BPP's let you see that your little one is still safe in there. Hang in there and congrats on the baby!

Hi HeathaC,
i am so sorry for your loss i can feel your pain as i had gone thru the same in feb 2013 i lost my baby due to placenta abruption@ 38 weeks. by God's grace i am 10 weeks pregnant can you tell me if you have taken some medicines or precautions. did u had a normal pregnancy post placenta abruption. i m too scared and dont wanna lose my baby again

So sorry for your loss. I hope you have found support through this pregnancy, for I didn't realize what a journey I would be embarking expecting after PA loss. I still cry everyday, but try not to get to worked up now for my expecting. I'm looking to see how you and your family are doing, coping? IS the MD real involved. Hoping for the best XOXO