Perfect Pregnancy Ended In Placental Abruption

This happened in November 2008. I was 39 weeks pregnant. My pregnancy had been perfect. I was watching TV with my husband and felt the need to go to the bathroom. I did not make it. I felt all wet and thought my water had broke, but it was blood. My husband called the doctor and he told us to go to the ER. I asked if it was normal, even though I knew it was not. The doctor said no. My husband and I did not understand the gravity of the situation. I was very calm since I did not have any pain. On the way over to the hospital we were happy, thinking our baby was going to be born. It was a 10 minute drive, and when we got there I started to feel scared. The nurses were very serious. My doctor was already there. He checked my baby's heart rate and told me I was having an emergency C-section. My husband was taken into another room to fill out some papers and could not come back in. The room I was in was full of doctors and nurses. A nurse told me everything was going to be alright. I was crying. They gave me an epidural anesthesia and started working on the surgery. I told the anesthesiologist it was hurting, and he said it had to be that way because they were in a hurry to take Matilde out.  Everything happened very fast. I think it took them less than 30 minutes to get her out. They did not tell me when she was out, but I saw her on a table and four doctors around her. I wanted to yell out her name, but did not want to distract the doctors. A nurse turned my head away from my baby, I guess she thought it was better if I was not looking. After a few minutes I turned to see if my daughter was there, but they had taken her to intensive care. My pediatrician told me she was very ill. I asked if she was going to die and he said it was a possibility.

They took me to another room and let my husband in. The doctor explained I had experienced a complete placental abruption and my baby had lost a lot of blood. They did a blood transfusion. I was okay, the blood that was lost was my baby's.

I was taken to my room and after a few hours they let me go downstairs to meet my daughter. She was so beautiful! It was hard to believe she was so ill. The color of her skin seemed very healthy and she was a large baby, over 7 pounds. We took some pictures of her to show our families. My parents and my mother in law came in to see her. Doctors told us the first 24 hours were critical. If she made it through the first day, she might have a chance. They said after the first day they could start evaluating what damage had been done with the loss of blood. She had lost over 2/3 of it, and was without oxygen for over 7 minutes. If she lived, she would have brain damage, and problems with vital organs.

The doctors sent us back to the room. After a few hours, the doctor came into my room and told us Matilde was very unstable, and we should come and say goodbye. We went into the intensive care unit and the nurses asked me if I wanted to hold her. It was the best moment of my life. I held her for an hour, and she stabilized. I like to think that she could feel how much we loved her and she was fighting to live. The doctor sent us back up. Four hours later, he told us he planned to do another intervention. He seemed optimistic for the first time. We went to see my baby before they started with the intervention, and went back upstairs. After a few hours we visited her once again. It was 11 o'clock at night. This time we were cheerful, and told her we would see her in the morning. We went upstairs and gave everybody the good news, we thought she was going to make it. At 11:40 the doctor came in to tell us Matilde had passed away.

It has been very hard for us and we are still very sad. I am crying as I write this. I think we were very lucky to see her alive, and I cherish those moments and the pictures we have of her. I have a wonderful husband and a lot of support from my family. I have also been in therapy for a long time before all this. I want to have another baby, and my doctor says I am healthy and there is no reason to wait, but I want to be in a better emotional state before I try to get pregnant again. I am feeling better everyday, although I think about my daughter all the time. I know I am never going to be the same person again, but I think we have a lot to offer as parents. My husband is scared something can happen to me during my next pregnancy and has suggested adoption. We asked the doctor but he says there is no reason not to get pregnant again. He says placental abruption is an accident and it cannot be prevented. I did not have any symptoms and have none of the risk conditions associated with it.

I often think I could not live through an experience as painful as this again, but I also think when we love somebody so much, we risk getting hurt. I am willing to take that risk.