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My Experience With My Ex-schizophrenic Fiance

It happened three years ago when I had been living with my ex fiance for two years.  He asked me not to go outside, not to open the window, not to make a noise, and not to wear makeup. . .

I asked "why?"  He told me nothing staring at me with the narrowed eyes.  And he said "do you see the eyes on the wall? They are trying to kill me.  I saw a man who bought a poison from a shop.  He is a murder.  He is going to kill you.  So, don't go anywhere.  Stay here with the door locked."

 

I didn't know what was happening to him at first.  I thought that he was kidding.  But it was just his first sign of schizophrenia. 

Next morning, I found that my accessories were gone.  I searched for them for a day.  And my ex told me that he threw them away because he thought that they were poisoned. 

On the other day, I came back from school, and he locked me out from his bedroom.  I called him to come out.  He didn't answer me.  I got worried about him, and I sat on the floor next to his door and waited for his answer until next morning.  He didn't come out.  I had to go to school, so I did.  I came back from school, and I checked his room again.  There was a big noise from inside.  It reminded me of construction sites.   I figured out a week later that he was drilling a hole in the wall.  Literally, he was camping in his room for a week.  He was cooking inside, peeing inside, and so on. 

I couldn't believe what he had done to me.  He started to tell me that he could no longer love me because he believed that I was not real.  He spoke to me looking into my eyes, "Evil soul took over your soul.  Who are you?  Where is *****(me)?  I need to go find your sister."  ...I had no idea what he was talking about. 

He left me and one year past.  Then, he came back to me saying "I am sorry what I did to you a year ago.  I was running away from difficulties."  Well, he seemed too depressed for me to say no.  So, I took care of him for three more months.  He didn't get better.

He tried to kill himself several times.  He cried in front of me everyday.  He was very depressed.  To me, it was my first experience.  I did not know what I was supposed to do. 

He started to change while I was with him.  He told me if I was a witch and if I can use super power to bring a good karma into his body.  I said to him that I did not understand what he meant.   It was a really hard time.  He gradually became hostile against me.  He said, "why are you telling me a lie?  Why are you having sex with 50 different men everyday?  Why don't you kill me?  Are you ****(me)?  I can see different dimensions like a movie.  Can you please make me happy?  Can you give me your medicine?  I want you to kill me so that I can fix my brain.  I got a brain surgery from my mother who put a tip on my brain.  My mother is an evil witch trying to poison me.  I am chosen to change the world.  If you don't kill me, then I will kill you.  I am like a dog in a cage.  You are the cage.  You will be bitten first by me.  If you tell this to anyone else, you will be cursed for your life time.  Doctors will damage my brain. I don't want to go to the hospital.  They will torture me."

 

He was diagnosed as Schizophrenia another year later.  He has been taking his medicines, and he is OK.  He is Caucasian, and I am Japanese.  We were engaged for three years.  But now I graduated from UNL.  I came back to Japan.  He stayed in the United States.    We broke out a month ago.  We had been loving each other deeply probably because we went through a lot of difficulties. 

I was affected by my own experience.  I am now becoming a molecular and chemical biology researcher.  I am now a graduate student at Kyoto University.  In the future,  I want to research schizophrenia. 

 

 

 

 

Shippoish Shippoish 26-30, F 43 Responses Nov 5, 2009

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I too had two experience with two bi polar men what are the odds I was almost murderd in my first one the second he was bi polar 2 but did not tell me everything I saw every trait of a schizophrenic but I had too find out on my own he would think people are following him he gets messages trough his x box break up with me for no reason controlling does not like authority thinks he has to save the world thinks that people will think he looks like Jesus when we first start dating he would not answer his phone and I would stop by his house but he would be home he would turn off all the lights at times for no reason get mad over silly things very childish at the age of 28 listento only his friends not the one he's with which is wired iyouf

Hi. I am going through every you did but he was becoming aggressive and violent. He left me yesturday. He acused my nephew of trying to poison him so he could be with me? It hurts me badly that he can think and believe all the ugly things he says about me. I love him and would never hurt him. We have been together five years and he left saying dont call me i cant stand you. My heart is so broken it hurts and i cant breath eat or sleep. I have called many times but the phone has been cut off. I called his and asked her to please check on him and tell him to please call me. She said she might go by and see that he was crazy when she saw him and she wasnt putting her life in danger. I told her i was worried about his life and i needed to talk to him. She said she would check on him and call me. Thats been 8 hours ago she will not answer my calls or return my messages now. She has never wanted us to be together and has done many things to try to keep us apart.i cant get to him and i am so scared and hurt.

Thank you all for you information. I have an "ex" that I spent alot of time and dreams of a future together that have been damaged because of schizophrenia. He is not diagnosed so if that's not it it's something very similar. What changed him is drugs, bath salts and he has not been the same. He's seen and heard things that are not there. He's very mistrustful of me. He left "our" home because he said I had people there. He started so called relationships because he said I was cheating and would never admit it. There have been times since then he has came around and seemed to be his normal self and then seems to have snapped into this other "new" scarey person who is a danger for me to be around. This is horrible and could not imagined life without him but I am really greiving as if he has passed away and pray everyday he makes an effort to get help. He seems to think he needs it but then want me to "come clean" about the people i have following him. I can't seem to reason with it and I know I can't but he always has something irrational to say when we talk about him getting help. and feedback is appreciated.

I heard, or rather saw in a 'Big Pharma' documentary that there was no specific definition. It is easy from the outside to look at people and feel bad for them, my life is much better than theirs. But I think you throw a lot of life's spectrum away when you start labeling sickness where natural behavior is taking place. <br />
<br />
There are a lot of great minds that think differently. If I had a loved one with issues, I wouldn't want to jump to the conclusion that their was something wrong with them. I think people are all full of potential, try to limit that definition, and confine it, and I think that is where you go wrong. <br />
<br />
The issue is also correlated to parental paranoia, and "empty nest" syndrome. A lot of the diagnosis happen when a kid is 17-20 and the parents are loosing control of 'their' child. And what is more troubling is that the parent's focus on this smothering (unnatural nurturing) can become a way for the parent to feel useful. I am not sure the statistics of the youngest child vs other children being diagnosed. But for an unskilled mother to be facing a world where she no longer is needed as a mother, there can be a lot of psychological subconscious reasons for 'the terrible need' that they perceive their child has for their continued nurturing.

what helped was being away from the Christianity bullshit lies.. sounds like he just wanted to **** with people.

You are strong. That is all I have to say.

I was diagnosed as schizophrenic and what brought me peace was Christianity. My darkness turned into light. I used to hear evil voices now I have peace and can see angels, breathe in the fragrance of life and feel the hand of the Lord on me. I hope that your ex fiance will give faith a fighting chance.

Yeah I noticed many odd behaviors from her, but love blinds.<br />
<br />
She called it a discourse. I knew she had been hospitalized for a undisclosed ammt of time that i thought was around six weeks. There's alot to the story and I never asked bout her diagnosis. Ha that unconditional love right there. Maybe that me being a dumb **** too?<br />
<br />
Anyways Hot Smart as **** and nuttier than squirrel terds...<br />
<br />
after she left more than one of my friends askd me if I was aware sh had MPD? yeah I kinda picked that up. She hid it well. But then I realized all th sleep walking was her episodes. If anyone ver tries to tell you sleepwalking with their eyes open is normal run! ***** used to look like a zombie it was uber creepy. Crazy NIN lovin Goth Girl Scouts! Oh well I love her problems and all.<br />
<br />
I told hr folks Id marry her and support us even though she had two degrees. Oh well I am sure she is flying around eatting babies somewhere.

It's a terrible illness. My heart goes out to you.

I'm so sorry to hear life has been so hard on you and those around you. I'm certain a lot of 20 something men in this generation are rather crazy. I'm going nuts myself. (The antichrist is in the white house and such). And men when faced with a problem and they know it, wil never solve the problem. A woman might be patient with a problem, a man throws it away.

Hi there thank you for sharing your experience. From the response you can see how many peoples lives have been affected by this terrible affliction. I have recently come out of a relationship because of the anguish and frustration of living with a step son with schizophrenia. Between his fathers anger and disappointment, and my stepsons madness my whole body broke down and I have developed stabbing joint pains. I am suffering with guilt and sadness caused by this situation. I have been with them for twelve years and the devastation this condition leaves in its wake is bad. The good news is that my step son is on meds which do help his condition dramatically. His father has hit him three times and has threatened to put him out on the street!My stepson is twenty two now. I ran away to save my sanity and health but feel sad and guilty that I did! Maybe if the father was kinder and more willing to work on a solution regarding his son I would have stayed. He either buried his head in thje sand or when he did see thr problem he would deal with it in a violent way! Too much heartache and my central nervous system started to shut down. I have a daughter who is twenty four and I need to be well for her. Thank you for sharing your comments. They have been very helpful to me.

Dang dude, that guy had some bad delusions in his head didn't he? I'm so sorry you had to go through that, not knowing what to do. <br />
<br />
I myself, kinda spaced out for a while, had some depression, among other things. I got labeled as a schizo, but that's only cause my apparent belief in telepathy is supposed to be a delusion, not a great gift. <br />
<br />
But I have some theories i've yet to prove concerning schizofrenia. I saw one commentor wrote, <br />
<br />
Let me know when you find a nerve that can think. <br />
It is the soul or spirit occupying the body that thinks, feels, etc, not the flesh. Being Asian you should be aware that "Man" is not just a body but a Spirit with a Mind [memory] in a body [brain, main part of the nervous system. A switch board between spirit, mind and body].<br />
<br />
<br />
Whilst I agree that there is some legitmate idea that the soul or spirit of the person is what is in control, it is what is doing the thinking, it does not mean that the proper or inproper development of neurons will affect thinking. The spirit body is a separate entity to the physical body, in the sense that the spirit body can survive without the physical body. However, the spirit body is still sort of sealed and welded together with this physical body, so when you injure the physical body, the spiritual body is going to have a reaction. <br />
<br />
So when you expose first world citizens to the toxicity of modern civilization, namely with the exposure to toxic substances, chemicals, bad bacteria/viruses, ect. The physical body is going to be affected, and thus have an effect on the spiritual body as well. <br />
<br />
When you give a kid autism with a vaccine, your likely permanently damaging that person's thoughts. So thus I believe schizofrenia is highly caused by poisoned brains. <br />
<br />
I also believe, often spiritual bullies, can antagonize schizofrenics. I believe schizofrenics might just be people with wandering imaginations. People with depression. Or people with really paranoid tendencies. <br />
<br />
paranoia seems to be like an underrated emotion or feeling or something I think. I think it's more common in real life, than it is commonly mentioned in conversation, or than it is commonly known to exist in this world of dictionary definitions.

THERE IS SO MUCH THAT I HIDE INSIDE THERE IS SO MUCH PAIN THAT WONT GO AWAY I WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND OR REALIZE HOW CAN SOME ONE MAKE UP LIES I JUST TOOK SOME TIME RIGHT NOW AND NOW I CAN SAY ITS PLANS IN THERE MINDS THAT THEY HAD TO GET WHERE THERE AT TODAY.

Shippoish,<br />
<br />
The love of my life has schizo-affective disorder, but was supposidly doing better and hadn't relapsed on meds for years. He meant more to me then any other boyfriends and we shared alot of things in common. He left me without warning and a few months later went on a road trip with a girl who was less attractive, less stable, etc...than me. I was devestated for months and cried myself to sleep every night for months. He's not doing well now, so every now and then I ask him how he is and give him words of encouragement. Im not over him (doubt I ever will be) but I've accepted we won't ever be together. He is sick. Thanks for sharing your experience as I've been looking for someone who has been through something similar. If you or anyone else, would e-mail me, so we can share experiences, that would be most appreciated and helpful. Also, I'd like to continue being a distant friend to him, but am wondering if that is a good idea or not? Shippopish, are you still friends with your ex fiance? <br />
<br />
Kayla<br />
thrasthemic@gmail.com

Good luck. Remember, there is also a social dimension to schizophrenia, I even think it is a social construct, but will let you make up your own mind. I was myself diagnosed as suffering from psychosis and a high risk of schizophrenia. They give me pills with awful side effects, which is stopped, and have never regretted it since. I may be a bit crazy sometimes, but not in the way you described, and I am not what these people are telling me I am.<br />
Since then, I have some distrust towards psychiatrists and psychologists. Of course some are good but there are so many crooks or just plain ignorant people in this profession for each good and honest one. Best to make up your mind yourself. My mind is the most precious thing I was given, and I'm glad I did not listen to those people who told me that my brain and mind are sick and need to be fixed. And they took $50/hour to tell me that. I hate them.

Good luck. Remember, there is also a social dimension to schizophrenia, I even think it is a social construct, but will let you make up your own mind. I was myself diagnosed as suffering from psychosis and a high risk of schizophrenia. They give me pills with awful side effects, which is stopped, and have never regretted it since. I may be a bit crazy sometimes, but not in the way you described, and I am not what these people are telling me I am.<br />
Since then, I have some distrust towards psychiatrists and psychologists. Of course some are good but there are so many crooks or just plain ignorant people in this profession for each good and honest one. Best to make up your mind yourself. My mind is the most precious thing I was given, and I'm glad I did not listen to those people who told me that my brain and mind are sick and need to be fixed. And they took $50/hour to tell me that. I hate them.

I spent 3 and a half years with a violent paranoid schizophrenic in my late teens. We were 'engaged'. It took the better part of a life time to truly heal from watching someone I knew and loved so dearly essentially die before my eyes. The post-break up stalking further complicated things.<br />
I am now nearing 40 and still think that if they made a film of my life- it'd be titled "My high school sweetheart was a schizophrenic".<br />
I'll pray for you- and your proposed research.

Oh ! Its so sad. Hope he can be cured. <br />
Well, if he can't be, then, I suggest you must not marry him if he is really mad !! <br />
Its so weird to have a mad husband. Isn't it?<br />
lol' !<br />
In fact he doesn't needs a marriage! <br />
He needs just friendship.<br />
You can be that friend if you like.<br />
<br />
You are a brilliant student, and you have a bright future .You must marry someone else of your standards,if he doesn't turns back normal.<br />
But if you love him, be a friend to him. That will be enough for him. He won't need any more either.<br />
<br />
YOUR EX-FIANCE DOESN'T NEEDS A WIFE. HE RATHER NEEDS A FRIEND.<br />
Believe me. <br />
Sex is important.<br />
But life is not only about sex.<br />
Friendship is a far better relation than marriage.<br />
Emotions are the first thing in anyones life.<br />
WE LIVE TO SEE OUR DREAMS TURN REAL. WE WANT TO MAKE OUR WISHES COME TRUE.AND WHEN THEY FAIL, OUR DREAMS BREAK, WE ARE SAD.<br />
PEOPLE WHO ARE EMOTIONALLY WEAK , TRY TO ESCAPE FROM THE REAL PRACTICAL WORLD , AND DWELVE INTO THEIR OWN IMAGINATIVE WORLD CREATED BY THEM. AS THE DAYS PASS BY, THEY BECOME MORE AND MORE ENGROSSED IN THEIR DREAMY WORLD. DREAMY WORLD THAT ALWAYS WORKS ACCRODING TO THEIR WISH. IT NEVER DENIES ANYTHING TO THEM. WHATEVER THEY WANT THEY ALWAYS GET IT IN THAT DREAMY WORLD.<br />
.AND WITH THIS THEY START HATING THE PRACTICAL WORLD WHICH IS FULL OF MISERIES. AND THEY ALSO START HATING THE PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN THIS PRACTICAL WORLD. <br />
HE HE !! THAT IS HOW PEOPLE BECOME MAD .<br />
<br />
May be he has got some kind of mental shock or something that made him this, but he needs to be cared for now ;emotionally supported .<br />
<br />
Mental diseases have no perfect medicine<br />
<br />
Yes, we can use anti-depressants, and ELECTRIC SHOCKS too ! lol'<br />
<br />
But they would only make the weak mind weaker !<br />
<br />
<br />
A polite hand, a few words of love can change him , bring him back to REALITY.<br />
<br />
MEDICINES ACT ON THE BRAIN, NOT ON THE MIND.<br />
BUT FEELINGS DO TOUCH THE MIND.<br />
MAKE HIM FEEL THAT HE HAS A FAMILY ( I MEAN HIS PARENTS) , A GIRL FRIEND, AND THEY ALL NEED HIM. MAKE HIM FEEL THAT HOW MUCH YOU ALL CARE FOR HIM. <br />
<br />
Someone has to offer him that kind of feelings.<br />
You were his girl friend. Are you not the best person, who can offer him that hand of friendship ?<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
( "I was affected by my own experience. I am now becoming a molecular and chemical biology researcher. I am now a graduate student at Kyoto University. In the future, I want to research schizophrenia" ) -----Its so great of you, but believe me, there is no chemistry that perfectly understands the functioning of human brains ! lol' <br />
May be one day science will be able to fully understand the functioning of human brain, but that day is too far ! too far ! May be thousands, and thousands of years after, from now.<br />
<br />
As for now you can treat him emotionally.<br />
<br />
You know what , human brain is the most complicated machine in the world !<br />
We don't know how it actually works, but we can use it quite efficiently.<br />
Yes, we can use our brains ! Can't we?<br />
<br />
So you see, you already have the best machine in the world with you. Its your own mind.<br />
Your heart. Use that.<br />
<br />
No other medicine, or anything can treat your boyfriend better than you can !<br />
<br />
I felt so sad at your story. <br />
I might have rushed to help your boy friend.<br />
But I can't.<br />
Its so unlucky for you to see the person, whom you love, going mad ,and telling you not to come near him any more. But don't be sad. Take the stirring of the life with strong hands and brave heart.<br />
<br />
BELIEVE IN GOD.<br />
BELIEVE ON YOURSELF.<br />
BELIEVE ON THE POWER OF LOVE AND FRIENDSHIP.<br />
Stay near his heart.<br />
MY BEST WISHES WITH YOU.<br />
<br />
Its so easy. Try to be his friend. He needs emotional treatment, not the chemical one !!

I would suggest that you do some research on the orthomolecular treatment of schizophrenia. Dr. Abram Hoffer and Dr. Harold Foster have written several books on the subject.

I don't know who you are, and all I know about you, or your presence, is this entry that I'm currently commenting on.<br />
<br />
But you inspire me.<br />
<br />
To find yourself in such an undesired place, and still stick to your other at the time, through the darkness, shows a rare brand of loyality and devotion, that so many people are afraid of commiting too. I can tell from that, that you'd make any partner you have a happy man, because you're driven by genuine concern for how others are, and not your own personal, petty wants and desires. A partner like that, is so rare to find, but reading passages like this reassure me that there ARE people like you in the world.<br />
<br />
But in the end, despite that need to help, sometimes there reaches a point where others must handle it, and you have to let go. That, in itself, is also another hard thing to deal with, but you dealt with that too, and have continued on your life, with a new refreshing path, carrying forward into what lies ahead, out of the woods and into the city... rather than dwell stationary, or going backwards, further into the dark forest.<br />
<br />
It's experiences like this, that show how brave you are.

I can relate , i too am studying in a similar discipline because of an ex who was deeply affected by a parent and now as an adult is sinking deeper into another world with children attached. It is most difficult to convince any authorities of the dangers looming. You are left so deeply touched by a personality like that , that you begin to feel responsible for every mistake they make. At least you made a positive move from your personal nightmare..

Have a link: http://lightworkers.org/node/22211<br />
The same experience and very interesting also.

i know exactly how you felt because i too was involved with a schizophrenic boyfriend for 5 years. i alternated between wanting to understand/help him to wanting to get as far away as possible from him at different times<br />
i can also relate to when yours decided you were a witch as this is common behavior from a schizophrenic towardshe one who is closest to therm after awhile too<br />
good luck and take care

I'm Schizophrenic but don't have such extreme behaviors since I began to get psychiatric help. I would really recommend it, I was going crazy before that. Many times, I would unceasingly cry because of nothing, yell at people for dumb reasons, and even hit at times. After getting on medication, I was able to stand up and accept things. For the last two years, I was doing pretty good until I was emotionally hurt, however, it's noticeable how much better I'm dealing with it.<br />
<br />
Yeah, even I said that I'm a chosen one or something, but, again, until I got help. I don't think I could live without my psychiatrists, just messing with the medications gradually changes me in some odd direction.

That is so wierd... I actually had a similar experience.<br />
My X-fiance went outside when he was sleeping over one time and told me not to come out... and after 10 minutes he was crawling to my backdoor covered in mud... claiming he defeated one of his thirteen demons that lived inside himself.<br />
What happened to your fiance?

I just read your story and I am very glad that you are still alive, actually. It could have been much worse than it is now. I have been through things like that. And I myself am so thankful that your ex fiance was willing to eventually accept help. My mother was a schizophrenic, too. But she did not want to be helped, and that lead to a divorce, and her suicide. You can't help people who don't want to be helped. And that is why I'm glad to hear about your story, even though it must have felt so surreal, and gthere was a time you could not just walk away from it or escape it.. it's good that things haven't gotten worse, like with my mother.<br />
<br />
I am also planning on finding out some things about schizophrenia and other "diseases" like that, though I know most of the reasons and the ways people start acting like this.<br />
<br />
I'm actually proud of you that you have the will to go on and find out how these things work and make the very best of it so that maybe you can mean something to someone who needs help with his or her disease. You could make a difference and that is wonderful.<br />
<br />
Well much love and hugs from V,

hi,<br />
Thank you for been there for him.<br />
I to have it .<br />
I hear voice and they are give me medicine it is shot every other week.<br />
It helps.<br />
It is hard to have this dieases.<br />
And what comes with it.<br />
I had a dad that had it .<br />
He was pariode one.<br />
But thank you for been there for him.<br />
<br />
bronica

Hi, Thirdstep<br />
<br />
Thank you so much. I sometimes felt the same way you just told me. But I am beginning to understand what a love is. I also met a wonderful person recently. I love him. And he is the one I was looking for. So, you know, I am not studying nerves just for my ex-fiance. My experience taught me what mattered to me the most in my life. That is I hate seeing people unhappy. I have no expectation that my research actually will help all people to become happy. But at least, I feel proud of myself doing something for my own happiness. And it will become my job in the future. So, it is my life. <br />
<br />
So, I am ok. Well, more than ok. I am really happy with my new boyfriend. We are very serious about our relationship. ;)<br />
<br />
<br />
Thanks so much for your kindness.<br />
Cheers!

Very often when we have a powerful experience in life it can take us over, as your fiance did to you. He took over your heart, mind and soul. You committed everything to him and probably lost yourself in many ways. Even though he is now on his medication and your relationship is over (for which you are very sad), you are now planning to study schizophrenia, in a sense giving him more energy. I think it would be good if you could take some time to heal and get over him and begin to focus on yourself, take yourself back, be yourself, learn what you want and need. You might find that you are no so interested in studying schizophrenia after all, that studying it is a way of staying connected to him and continuing to give yourself up. Please take some time for your own sake to focus on yourself. I know that right now you must be obsessed with what happened to you and you probably suffered a trauma from being with someone you loved who turned on you, but studying schizophrenia is not the way to heal. Study yourself and let go so you can heal.

I really am glad that you shared your experience with a boyfriend who had schizophrenia and to see that you are bouncing back from the situation in a way that will contribute positively to the world. Good on ya! <br />
I myself was diagnosed with Schizophreniform and honestly scared my family in ways similar in bizarrenes to your ex fiance's. After much struggles and thankfully the help of caring family, friends, and professionals I was able to "bounce back" and have been taking Risperdal medication faithfully for some time now. I see that when I do not take the medicine I start to become much more of a deep thinker and obsessed with what is right and wrong and it is really strange to look back on at the time but seems normal although it is not a happy state at the time. I thank God for modern information that encourages people to reduce stress, take medication if necessary, to seek social support, and to strenthen ones self in family and spiritually. I am so thankfull to be out of that dark and dreary waste of the world of psychotic thinking. Again, good job for making it through the trial that you went through to "care for" your friend. God bless and good speed in your labors to bring good knowledge of the way the human body works.