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My Experience With My Ex-schizophrenic Fiance

It happened three years ago when I had been living with my ex fiance for two years.  He asked me not to go outside, not to open the window, not to make a noise, and not to wear makeup. . .

I asked "why?"  He told me nothing staring at me with the narrowed eyes.  And he said "do you see the eyes on the wall? They are trying to kill me.  I saw a man who bought a poison from a shop.  He is a murder.  He is going to kill you.  So, don't go anywhere.  Stay here with the door locked."

 

I didn't know what was happening to him at first.  I thought that he was kidding.  But it was just his first sign of schizophrenia. 

Next morning, I found that my accessories were gone.  I searched for them for a day.  And my ex told me that he threw them away because he thought that they were poisoned. 

On the other day, I came back from school, and he locked me out from his bedroom.  I called him to come out.  He didn't answer me.  I got worried about him, and I sat on the floor next to his door and waited for his answer until next morning.  He didn't come out.  I had to go to school, so I did.  I came back from school, and I checked his room again.  There was a big noise from inside.  It reminded me of construction sites.   I figured out a week later that he was drilling a hole in the wall.  Literally, he was camping in his room for a week.  He was cooking inside, peeing inside, and so on. 

I couldn't believe what he had done to me.  He started to tell me that he could no longer love me because he believed that I was not real.  He spoke to me looking into my eyes, "Evil soul took over your soul.  Who are you?  Where is *****(me)?  I need to go find your sister."  ...I had no idea what he was talking about. 

He left me and one year past.  Then, he came back to me saying "I am sorry what I did to you a year ago.  I was running away from difficulties."  Well, he seemed too depressed for me to say no.  So, I took care of him for three more months.  He didn't get better.

He tried to kill himself several times.  He cried in front of me everyday.  He was very depressed.  To me, it was my first experience.  I did not know what I was supposed to do. 

He started to change while I was with him.  He told me if I was a witch and if I can use super power to bring a good karma into his body.  I said to him that I did not understand what he meant.   It was a really hard time.  He gradually became hostile against me.  He said, "why are you telling me a lie?  Why are you having sex with 50 different men everyday?  Why don't you kill me?  Are you ****(me)?  I can see different dimensions like a movie.  Can you please make me happy?  Can you give me your medicine?  I want you to kill me so that I can fix my brain.  I got a brain surgery from my mother who put a tip on my brain.  My mother is an evil witch trying to poison me.  I am chosen to change the world.  If you don't kill me, then I will kill you.  I am like a dog in a cage.  You are the cage.  You will be bitten first by me.  If you tell this to anyone else, you will be cursed for your life time.  Doctors will damage my brain. I don't want to go to the hospital.  They will torture me."

 

He was diagnosed as Schizophrenia another year later.  He has been taking his medicines, and he is OK.  He is Caucasian, and I am Japanese.  We were engaged for three years.  But now I graduated from UNL.  I came back to Japan.  He stayed in the United States.    We broke out a month ago.  We had been loving each other deeply probably because we went through a lot of difficulties. 

I was affected by my own experience.  I am now becoming a molecular and chemical biology researcher.  I am now a graduate student at Kyoto University.  In the future,  I want to research schizophrenia. 

 

 

 

 

Shippoish Shippoish 26-30, F 43 Responses Nov 5, 2009

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THERE IS SO MUCH THAT I HIDE INSIDE THERE IS SO MUCH PAIN THAT WONT GO AWAY I WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND OR REALIZE HOW CAN SOME ONE MAKE UP LIES I JUST TOOK SOME TIME RIGHT NOW AND NOW I CAN SAY ITS PLANS IN THERE MINDS THAT THEY HAD TO GET WHERE THERE AT TODAY.

Dang dude, that guy had some bad delusions in his head didn't he? I'm so sorry you had to go through that, not knowing what to do. <br />
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I myself, kinda spaced out for a while, had some depression, among other things. I got labeled as a schizo, but that's only cause my apparent belief in telepathy is supposed to be a delusion, not a great gift. <br />
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But I have some theories i've yet to prove concerning schizofrenia. I saw one commentor wrote, <br />
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Let me know when you find a nerve that can think. <br />
It is the soul or spirit occupying the body that thinks, feels, etc, not the flesh. Being Asian you should be aware that "Man" is not just a body but a Spirit with a Mind [memory] in a body [brain, main part of the nervous system. A switch board between spirit, mind and body].<br />
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Whilst I agree that there is some legitmate idea that the soul or spirit of the person is what is in control, it is what is doing the thinking, it does not mean that the proper or inproper development of neurons will affect thinking. The spirit body is a separate entity to the physical body, in the sense that the spirit body can survive without the physical body. However, the spirit body is still sort of sealed and welded together with this physical body, so when you injure the physical body, the spiritual body is going to have a reaction. <br />
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So when you expose first world citizens to the toxicity of modern civilization, namely with the exposure to toxic substances, chemicals, bad bacteria/viruses, ect. The physical body is going to be affected, and thus have an effect on the spiritual body as well. <br />
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When you give a kid autism with a vaccine, your likely permanently damaging that person's thoughts. So thus I believe schizofrenia is highly caused by poisoned brains. <br />
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I also believe, often spiritual bullies, can antagonize schizofrenics. I believe schizofrenics might just be people with wandering imaginations. People with depression. Or people with really paranoid tendencies. <br />
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paranoia seems to be like an underrated emotion or feeling or something I think. I think it's more common in real life, than it is commonly mentioned in conversation, or than it is commonly known to exist in this world of dictionary definitions.

Hi there thank you for sharing your experience. From the response you can see how many peoples lives have been affected by this terrible affliction. I have recently come out of a relationship because of the anguish and frustration of living with a step son with schizophrenia. Between his fathers anger and disappointment, and my stepsons madness my whole body broke down and I have developed stabbing joint pains. I am suffering with guilt and sadness caused by this situation. I have been with them for twelve years and the devastation this condition leaves in its wake is bad. The good news is that my step son is on meds which do help his condition dramatically. His father has hit him three times and has threatened to put him out on the street!My stepson is twenty two now. I ran away to save my sanity and health but feel sad and guilty that I did! Maybe if the father was kinder and more willing to work on a solution regarding his son I would have stayed. He either buried his head in thje sand or when he did see thr problem he would deal with it in a violent way! Too much heartache and my central nervous system started to shut down. I have a daughter who is twenty four and I need to be well for her. Thank you for sharing your comments. They have been very helpful to me.

I'm so sorry to hear life has been so hard on you and those around you. I'm certain a lot of 20 something men in this generation are rather crazy. I'm going nuts myself. (The antichrist is in the white house and such). And men when faced with a problem and they know it, wil never solve the problem. A woman might be patient with a problem, a man throws it away.

It's a terrible illness. My heart goes out to you.

Yeah I noticed many odd behaviors from her, but love blinds.<br />
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She called it a discourse. I knew she had been hospitalized for a undisclosed ammt of time that i thought was around six weeks. There's alot to the story and I never asked bout her diagnosis. Ha that unconditional love right there. Maybe that me being a dumb **** too?<br />
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Anyways Hot Smart as **** and nuttier than squirrel terds...<br />
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after she left more than one of my friends askd me if I was aware sh had MPD? yeah I kinda picked that up. She hid it well. But then I realized all th sleep walking was her episodes. If anyone ver tries to tell you sleepwalking with their eyes open is normal run! ***** used to look like a zombie it was uber creepy. Crazy NIN lovin Goth Girl Scouts! Oh well I love her problems and all.<br />
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I told hr folks Id marry her and support us even though she had two degrees. Oh well I am sure she is flying around eatting babies somewhere.

I was diagnosed as schizophrenic and what brought me peace was Christianity. My darkness turned into light. I used to hear evil voices now I have peace and can see angels, breathe in the fragrance of life and feel the hand of the Lord on me. I hope that your ex fiance will give faith a fighting chance.

You are strong. That is all I have to say.

what helped was being away from the Christianity bullshit lies.. sounds like he just wanted to **** with people.

I heard, or rather saw in a 'Big Pharma' documentary that there was no specific definition. It is easy from the outside to look at people and feel bad for them, my life is much better than theirs. But I think you throw a lot of life's spectrum away when you start labeling sickness where natural behavior is taking place. <br />
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There are a lot of great minds that think differently. If I had a loved one with issues, I wouldn't want to jump to the conclusion that their was something wrong with them. I think people are all full of potential, try to limit that definition, and confine it, and I think that is where you go wrong. <br />
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The issue is also correlated to parental paranoia, and "empty nest" syndrome. A lot of the diagnosis happen when a kid is 17-20 and the parents are loosing control of 'their' child. And what is more troubling is that the parent's focus on this smothering (unnatural nurturing) can become a way for the parent to feel useful. I am not sure the statistics of the youngest child vs other children being diagnosed. But for an unskilled mother to be facing a world where she no longer is needed as a mother, there can be a lot of psychological subconscious reasons for 'the terrible need' that they perceive their child has for their continued nurturing.

Thank you all for you information. I have an "ex" that I spent alot of time and dreams of a future together that have been damaged because of schizophrenia. He is not diagnosed so if that's not it it's something very similar. What changed him is drugs, bath salts and he has not been the same. He's seen and heard things that are not there. He's very mistrustful of me. He left "our" home because he said I had people there. He started so called relationships because he said I was cheating and would never admit it. There have been times since then he has came around and seemed to be his normal self and then seems to have snapped into this other "new" scarey person who is a danger for me to be around. This is horrible and could not imagined life without him but I am really greiving as if he has passed away and pray everyday he makes an effort to get help. He seems to think he needs it but then want me to "come clean" about the people i have following him. I can't seem to reason with it and I know I can't but he always has something irrational to say when we talk about him getting help. and feedback is appreciated.

Hi. I am going through every you did but he was becoming aggressive and violent. He left me yesturday. He acused my nephew of trying to poison him so he could be with me? It hurts me badly that he can think and believe all the ugly things he says about me. I love him and would never hurt him. We have been together five years and he left saying dont call me i cant stand you. My heart is so broken it hurts and i cant breath eat or sleep. I have called many times but the phone has been cut off. I called his and asked her to please check on him and tell him to please call me. She said she might go by and see that he was crazy when she saw him and she wasnt putting her life in danger. I told her i was worried about his life and i needed to talk to him. She said she would check on him and call me. Thats been 8 hours ago she will not answer my calls or return my messages now. She has never wanted us to be together and has done many things to try to keep us apart.i cant get to him and i am so scared and hurt.

I too had two experience with two bi polar men what are the odds I was almost murderd in my first one the second he was bi polar 2 but did not tell me everything I saw every trait of a schizophrenic but I had too find out on my own he would think people are following him he gets messages trough his x box break up with me for no reason controlling does not like authority thinks he has to save the world thinks that people will think he looks like Jesus when we first start dating he would not answer his phone and I would stop by his house but he would be home he would turn off all the lights at times for no reason get mad over silly things very childish at the age of 28 listento only his friends not the one he's with which is wired iyouf