My Experience With My Ex-schizophrenic Fiance
It happened three years ago when I had been living with my ex fiance for two years. He asked me not to go outside, not to open the window, not to make a noise, and not to wear makeup. . .
I asked "why?" He told me nothing staring at me with the narrowed eyes. And he said "do you see the eyes on the wall? They are trying to kill me. I saw a man who bought a poison from a shop. He is a murder. He is going to kill you. So, don't go anywhere. Stay here with the door locked."
I didn't know what was happening to him at first. I thought that he was kidding. But it was just his first sign of schizophrenia.
Next morning, I found that my accessories were gone. I searched for them for a day. And my ex told me that he threw them away because he thought that they were poisoned.
On the other day, I came back from school, and he locked me out from his bedroom. I called him to come out. He didn't answer me. I got worried about him, and I sat on the floor next to his door and waited for his answer until next morning. He didn't come out. I had to go to school, so I did. I came back from school, and I checked his room again. There was a big noise from inside. It reminded me of construction sites. I figured out a week later that he was drilling a hole in the wall. Literally, he was camping in his room for a week. He was cooking inside, peeing inside, and so on.
I couldn't believe what he had done to me. He started to tell me that he could no longer love me because he believed that I was not real. He spoke to me looking into my eyes, "Evil soul took over your soul. Who are you? Where is *****(me)? I need to go find your sister." ...I had no idea what he was talking about.
He left me and one year past. Then, he came back to me saying "I am sorry what I did to you a year ago. I was running away from difficulties." Well, he seemed too depressed for me to say no. So, I took care of him for three more months. He didn't get better.
He tried to kill himself several times. He cried in front of me everyday. He was very depressed. To me, it was my first experience. I did not know what I was supposed to do.
He started to change while I was with him. He told me if I was a witch and if I can use super power to bring a good karma into his body. I said to him that I did not understand what he meant. It was a really hard time. He gradually became hostile against me. He said, "why are you telling me a lie? Why are you having sex with 50 different men everyday? Why don't you kill me? Are you ****(me)? I can see different dimensions like a movie. Can you please make me happy? Can you give me your medicine? I want you to kill me so that I can fix my brain. I got a brain surgery from my mother who put a tip on my brain. My mother is an evil witch trying to poison me. I am chosen to change the world. If you don't kill me, then I will kill you. I am like a dog in a cage. You are the cage. You will be bitten first by me. If you tell this to anyone else, you will be cursed for your life time. Doctors will damage my brain. I don't want to go to the hospital. They will torture me."
He was diagnosed as Schizophrenia another year later. He has been taking his medicines, and he is OK. He is Caucasian, and I am Japanese. We were engaged for three years. But now I graduated from UNL. I came back to Japan. He stayed in the United States. We broke out a month ago. We had been loving each other deeply probably because we went through a lot of difficulties.
I was affected by my own experience. I am now becoming a molecular and chemical biology researcher. I am now a graduate student at Kyoto University. In the future, I want to research schizophrenia.