Never the Same

 THE DAY WE WILL NEVER FORGETit was Oct. 15 1981, Thursday. I had a sweet sister who married a very sick individual a toxic relationship. My sis was was only 35 years old, and left 3 sons ages 15 -18. The sick bastard shot her and himself on the youngest boys 15th birthday. The abuse was pretty horrific. The boys would go to bed with baseball bats. My nephews took all the firing pins out of all the weapons and hid them because they knew what the bastard was capable of doing. One year before the murder my sis came to my house 2 blocks over,she was drinking and told me she had taken some pills, she wated to die. I was so scared, my hubby was working and i do not drive. I called my son who just got his drivers license to get home fast. We drove over 90 miles an hour to the hospital, and just as we turned into the hosp. drive a highway patrol ask what was the hurry, i said my sis. took an overdose, he escorted us into the emerg. rm. My sis almost died that night. She was in bad mental condition, my mom and older sis came from soutern ca. My sis was very suicidal, we took turns staying in her hosp. rm. The psychietrist told us not to let her bastard man let her know where she was. Some how he found her, he walked into her room i almost stopped breathing. He promised to go to counciling, crying and the whole damn lies of a very sick ind. He went to counciling for a very shrt time and back to his sick ways. My sis was planning her escape, her friend was keeping money for her, and she was seeing a divorce lawyer who was told not to contact the worthless piece of ****. Well guess what happened,the lawyer sent some papers to their house and the pos. read them. He started his plans to murder my sis. One night when the boys were asleep he ran in their room and said someone was outside the house and he needed a firing pin for a gun, my nephew half asleep got him one. about 2 weeks later he put his plan to work. The oldest boy was working and the 2 younger ones at school. My sis and i talked that am and were excited because we were going to start a jazzercise class that evening my last words to her was i love you sis.My hubby was working shift work, we had taken our 2 youngest sons to get physicals for school and got home around 4 pm. My hubby went to bed. My oldest nephew called and said aunt Dyou need to come now. I told my hubby i need to get over there, he said that crazy mexican probably has a gun. My daughter and her fiancee took me. We turned the corner and saw the police cars and the coroner my heart fell. I was running for the front door when an officer stopped me and was told by someone if you dont tell her i will. Those horrible words he killed your sis. I was running to kill the bastard and was told he shot himself as well. My story is not over i will continue sometime soon   I am writing about this in memory of all those women who suffered domestic violence at the hands of sick men              

mother mother
61-65, F
8 Responses Aug 21, 2007

i am so sorry for your loss. it's heartbreaking. but please please try to take some comfort in that your last words to her were ones of love.

Halfgone - what you are doing is brave, it takes courage. I'm proud of you. You are valuable - stay away from people who don't think you are.

I just got out of a very abusive relationship pull my hair out bite me blow his nose rub it in my face. But thats all I knew and at times I miss him. BUt the whole truth about the matter is that one day I would end up missing. Im still getting over him. I have an order of protection againest him and we will go to court this friday which is so scarey to me. I haven't seen or spoke to him in a month.

That lawyer is going to hell. really, he is. <br />
What kills me about being a human being is that I am not a god and I can't punish people like this obvious moron lawyer...

Women need to understand that they need to get out of there at the first sign the maniac tendencies appear; there is no ******* fooling around with someone like this; they need to be taken out first.<br />
I always wish that little girls were raised more like my father raised us. By the time I was old enougn to date my father started warning me about people like this and he said "Once you get in, you can't get out. Don't get in" and he warned us to always be prepared to understand that you don't owe your life to someone; that it belongs to you and anyone who tries to take it will lose theirs.<br />
But not every one grew up thinking about it. <br />
Again...I am so sorry. I am sorry the universe put your family through this.

I am so sorryabout this...<br />
When I read of men or women who do this to spouses or intimates...I just get so torn up. <br />
I watched my grandmother get attacked as a child and I will never forget it; her pink quilted robe...broken arm and broken glass. <br />
I am sorry you lost your sister; I am sorry my heart grieves for you even though it was years ago I am sure it feels like yesterday...<br />
Thank you for sharing your story...

oh my goodness! I'm so sorry to hear your loss. I hope someday you are able to heal from what this horrible sick man has done to you.

This is one of the most tragic stories I have ever heard in my life. I am deeply saddened by your loss and my sincere sympathies go out to you and your family.