After 26 Years, My Eyes Are Finally Wide Open.

I have had a best friend for 26 years, and it all blew up in my face this past week. I think I put up with her behavior so long because we'd be friends since we were 5. Now that the friendship is over, I look back and realize that things were never quite right with her.
She was promiscuous starting at the tender age of 12. She hated everyone for the simplist reasons, yet would be sweet and charming to their faces. She cheated on every single boyfriend she had, no matter how good they treated her. I could never see her marrying anyone, so imagine my surprise when she latched on to a few years older man who was in school to become a pharmacist. As soon as he graduated, they moved in together, moving two ours away to live by her sister. She was 19. I knew she had cold feet the entire time, and I knew the only reason she went through with it two years later is she knew he would be able to give her a good life.
Her husband is a great guy, buys her things, takes her places, and yet she cheats on him constantly. The excuse is, she's not happy. I could never figure out why she didn't leave. Then almost five years after her first son, she had another. I couldn't figure that one out, but I soon realized her older son was bound for kindergarten, and she'd have to enter the work force. She couldn't do that because she's the laziest person I ever met.
The straw that broke the camel's back is that she zeroed in on my older brother. He always had a thing for her. She told him of her unhappiness, but only when he bought a house did she want to leave her husband and move in my brother. (he's the third guy she tried to move in with, and the only one who said yes.)
Now she is stringing my brother along, because she has found out she needs to get her own place and job until the divorce is complete, and working isn't an option. Plus she has just now discovered her almost two year old son has severe hearing loss, even though we've been telling her for some time something was wrong. So now everything to my brother is, 'well, we need to focus on...' the kicker? She's an awful mother! Neglectful, and doesn't engage with her two boys at all. She uses them to complain about life, and get pity
Plus she's so manipulative! For instance, her husband was told if he talked to me, she would leave, but it's perfectly acceptable for her to continue to talk to my brother because they're friends. I don't see the logic. I only see she's cutting me out because she's afraid I'll exposé her lies.
I was completely done when I received a FB message supposedly from them both, saying I was a gossip, causing stress, put myself in the middle, don't understand how hard it is with their son, and she thought I would have been a better friend after all these years.
After completely breaking down, I talked to her own sister, whom she has no relationship with, and is a psychologist, and I discovered she is a sociopath. She has cut out most of her family for ridiculous things, and turns the blame on them. She has no one left but her husband, and I hope he figures this out sooner than later.
I think it's good this happened, as I have learned who she really is. Plus, I will no longer 'be in control of her life' as she told my brother. I am upset that I didn't realize any of this sooner. I just would nod and sympathize with her, which is probably why I lasted so long. I got to the point where I spotted her blatant lies, manipulation, and guilt up close and person, and she didn't like that.
There are so many other examples, I could go on and on. I am just so hurt, and the hardest part is understanding that she has no guilt for any of this. It's so hard to fathom.
Blondie548 Blondie548
31-35
4 Responses Sep 16, 2012

I have told her I am done. And luckily, due to my husbands military obligations, I live 1100 miles away from her now. And you hit the nail on the head. Everything is our fault because we catch them. I am sorry you are dealing with a far more sick sociopath than I. I cannot imagine. All I have really dealt with are lies and manipulations. Which to me, is bad enough.

I have told her I am done. And luckily, due to my husbands military obligations, I live 1100 miles away from her now. And you hit the nail on the head. Everything is our fault because we catch them. I am sorry you are dealing with a far more sick sociopath than I. I cannot imagine. All I have really dealt with are lies and manipulations. Which to me, is bad enough.

with a sociopath it is always someone elses fault,buck up and tell her to hit the road

sociopaths dont recognize theirs sins,i am dealing with a hard core one who has partaked in child abduction,child p.orn in toronto,luring kids in toronto but it is me who is a snake for catching her