I've Been Stalked Twice Both Times Were Scary.

Well my two experiences were very similar yet much different. The first time was a girl I was with for five years. She would follow me around all the time with at least 2 or 3 guys with her all the time. Thankfully they never assaulted me but I was worried they would. It went on for about a year before she finally gave up. I always associate stalking with guys following a girl. Trust me it goes the other way too. In both of my situations the girl used a guy or guys for intimidation. The second time my ex had her guy friend pull a gun on me. It definitely frightening I'll never be the same. The psychological effects do not go away easily, if ever.
twicestalked twicestalked
31-35
2 Responses Jul 29, 2010

Hi. I'm sorry you had to go through that. Believe me, I know all too well what you're saying about the psychological effects not going away easy. It's been three months since I last saw my stalker (he was in trouble with the police three months ago for what he did to me, went to jail and later went to court). Even though it's been 3 months, I know he could return at any time and stalk me again. Whether he does or not, I am still struggling to not be on the alert and I'm still suffering physically and mentally from the stress of being stalked for almost a year. I hope things go better for you and that you are no longer stalked by these girls and the guys they use to help them cause terror.

Thanks I'll never be over the things that happened and I'm still suffering because I won't get into another relationship in fear of letting someone too close. I talked to my ex not long ago and she's apologetic and saying she misses me. I refuse to let her back. Sad thing is she doesn't realize just how much damage she did to me. Worse part is we have a kid together, that's the hardest part cause I'm missing out on my son's life because of this as well. I tried a lot of things at the time, calling the police and getting a restraining order. They told me it was all in my mind and that she was in jail. I'm telling you it was no fun but I do look back as a reminder and I have been strengthened and educated from it. I appreciate your concern in my ordeal. I only hope that you are doing well after your experience also. Life is too short to be harassed, put down, and generally hurt by another, physically or mentally.

Hmmm, following someone around to intimidate them rather than out of infatuation... That's a definition of stalking that I hadn't considered before. That's worrying. I wonder why these girls wanted to scare you so much? Did you do something to them to make them really angry at you or hate you? It seems odd that they had males with them during the stalking. Stalkers usually work alone. It's pretty clear that both the girls must have convinced these guys that you were some kind of threat to her if they came with her whenever she was around you. Seems like these girls wanted to scare you away more than anything else.

Yes, stalkers usually work alone. But if it serves their purpose, they will get others to help them carry out their evil plans to get what they want. With my stalker, he got his one brother (who previously harassed me for several months which I recognize now could have been him stalking as me as well when I look back on it and compare what I now know about stalkers to what he did) to help him harass me at the same time. He also got two friends to call me and "persuade" me to go back and be friends with him again. That was one of many ways he tried to manipulate me (and them too) to try to get what he wanted. Stalkers will often try to get information about their targets from their target's family, friends, or colleagues and use the information against their target. Stalkers are often smart or even geniuses and will do many things and use whatever means to get what they want without any care or concern for the needs of other people. Even if they are the love types, it is still about power and control rather than love. And even the love types often resort to violence, especially when they give things like flowers, chocolates, love letters and so on to try to win their target and getting violent, even resorting to murder (in the extreme cases) when their target doesn't return the affection.