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Psycho Jealous Baby-mama Phone & Internet Stalker

My boyfriend has a child with a woman he had an affair with 9 years ago.  Because they have a child together, and she lives in his neighborhood, she has stalked every single person he's dated since.  Up until he met me, most of his relationships lasted about 3 months before this woman did something to terrorize the new lady. 

I live about 3 hours away from my boyfriend, and therefore it took this woman a while longer to find out about me.  About two years to be exact.
About a year ago my boyfriend had lent his son his iPhone to play a game on, and she snatched it away from his son until she could pull all my info out of it.  She emailed me to tell me the two of them were presently married!  I was shocked, but then also sort of weirded out.  She couldn't send me a wedding photo, even though she willing sent me pics of herself and their son.

I talked to him, and he explained she was bat-**** crazy. 
I also did a court record search and confirmed that no such marriage ever existed.  She then called my unlisted cell, and home numbers repeatedly at all times of the day and night.   I blocked her number.  She got another cell number and called again with death threats.

I told her I was breaking up with him, because they should be together.  (This was not true, but it stopped her calls).
She believed this for another year... until we got engaged. 

I'm not sure how, but she found out about the engagement about two weeks after it happened.

She has gotten a new number and is calling again, claiming to be married to my boyfriend, and then alternating her calls with death threats. 
I don't actually pick up the phone when I see an unfamiliar number.  So she leaves messages!!!

I'm only thankful she does not drive nor actually know where I live!

Today I am filing a restraining order against her. 

I am nervous about getting married.  I wonder if she's actually dangerous. I am urging my boyfriend to get social services involved so he can eventually gain full-custody of their son.  He doesn't want to do it, because he says he's afraid it'll hurt his kid.  I know I can't be mom to his son, but I am also convinced that the woman who is, is not a good influence. 


oggief oggief 36-40, F 6 Responses Feb 16, 2011

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For Grunt101 .....It is very difficult for a father to get custody of their child.....regardless if she's ****ing crazy. It's also very hard to prove she is an unfit mother. It is hard for a guy to be a father when there is a woman like that...it's either her way or no way. I see my husband deal with this s*** every day. It should be a crime to act like that....but it's not unfortunately. So you can't assume that he's a bad father because he can't get the kid out of that envirnoment without going to jail. <br />
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To oggief....it's important to back up your soon to be husband.....it's hard on him just as it is on you. Women like that have to have control...and for her to stop she needs a reality check. If you are going to fight it....fight it and dont back down. You have to show her that you're not playing.

No offense, but It kinda sounds like she might be getting all the info and unlisted numbers from him. Maybe? I dunno...sounds fishy. How else could she be getting the info?

girl dont run..iam in a similar situation...and honestly my man loves his son to death and we are goin to go to court and we are also filin harrasment charges and i too am thinkin of a restaining order..you might think about gettin pepper spray or a taser just in case but i love my man and he is sweet he just got really unlucky wit his bbymama too..good luck

girl dont run..iam in a similar situation...and honestly my man loves his son to death and we are goin to go to court and we are also filin harrasment charges and i too am thinkin of a restaining order..you might think about gettin pepper spray or a taser just in case but i love my man and he is sweet he just got really unlucky wit his bbymama too..good luck

There's only one solution to this problem and that's cutting him out of your life for good. Getting married to him is going to make her more crazy and you should really fear for your safety. You need to get out before it's too late.

Grunt101 is right, restraining orders don't stop bullets. And someone as mentally unstable as the woman you described will continue to stalk you regardless. The good news is, with the restraining order, you will be able to call the police and have her arrested the next time she calls with death threats. Hopefully the court system will realize how nutty she is and force her into getting some psychological help. Then hopefully she'll move on with her life and you'll be able to enjoy your new marriage.