My Angel, Coleton JamesI am a very blessed Mother of 5 children, no, 6 children! 1 Boy, 4 girls and 1 beautiful Angel!! This is my story: I found out I was pregnant with my last child (#6) when I was almost 39 years old, I was scared because I was considered "old" to be having another baby, let alone I was shocked! After the initial shock wore off, I was so happy to be able to be a new Mommy. My other children at the time ranged from 19 to 4, they too were very happy.
As I would go to the Doctor, I would constantly tell him "something is not right" that I didn't feel right but i wasn't certain what it was. He reassured me that I was healthy for my "age" and that the heartbeat sounds good and strong and that I needed to relax and enjoy my last pregnancy. Still, I would leave with an eerie feeling.
In my picture page you will see a picture of my ultrasound that was done at about 5 months, it's a BOY the Doctor tells us, I was soooooooo happy, finally a little brother to spoil!! On my ultrasound you can clearly see an ANGEL setting on my Son's foot. I thought to myself WOW, an angel is watching over him already....little did i know what it meant until a few months later.
I remember the day like yesterday... this horrible cramping feeling, but i was only 34 weeks along and knew it wasn't labor pains, so i ignored it and layed down for a bit. I woke up feeling good and went about my day. That night I noticed my very active little boy was not kicking anymore. I drank orange juice, did many other things but I knew he was gone! This was on a Sunday night and I didn't want an ER Doctor telling me my Son was gone. I waited until the next morning, put my children on the bus, kissed my husband goodbye and went to the Dr. all by myself (just in case I was wrong) i didn't want to alarm anyone. I went into the room, told my Dr. that I didn't feel him kicking since last night, he sort of laughed it off because he knew how worried i was from day one. THe look on his face said it all. I went to the ultrasound room where I was told my boy was gone. I called my Mother and met my husband at home. Amazingly enough I was the one comforting everyone. I was in shock. I refused to go back to the Hospital for 3 days!!!!! In my thought process, i still had my son with me, if i had to deliver, then i would never see him again. I was forced to go to the hospital where I was only in labor 1 hour. I delivered my son with no pain medicine, no nurses hanging around, no nothing but with my loving family. He was baptized in my arms by my Pastor.
As much as it hurts and as broken as I am.... my ultrasound picture get's me through everyday!!! God did have a plan for him, i just didn't know what it was. I know someday I will be able to rock my baby boy, until then, he IS my angel!!! I love you Coleton James!!!!
coletonsmom 41-45 2 Responses 0 Jun 5, 2012