Lexie Our Precious Angel

  My name is Christie and I am 33 years old.  I would like to share the story of my daughter Lexie so people experiencing a stillbirth can see the birth of their baby in a new light.  I have been married for 11 years and I have 2 beautiful daughters that are 5 and 9 years old.  My 2 previous pregnancies were uneventful, my first daughter born on her due date and my second daughter born 1 day before her due date.
    My pregnancy with Lexie came as a surprise but we were so excited for the new addition to our family.  My pregnancy with Lexie was completely uneventful.  I went to a doctors appointment when I was 39 weeks and 6 days, the first I had attended alone.  When the doctor placed the fetal doppler on my stomach I knew something was wrong.  Ultrasound confirmed that my baby had no heart beat.  My life at this point seemed to stop.
    My family got the call they were expecting but I had to tell them that Lexie would not be coming home with us.  I was shocked to hear that I would have to go through labor to deliver Lexie.  I was so scared beacuse I didn't know why my baby didn't have a heartbeat so I didn't know what to expect.  A friend called me who experienced the same thing with her baby and she told me to be sure to look at every finger, every toe and to examine the baby just as I would if I were taking her home.  At this point I didn't know what she meant by this.
    On May 21, 2010 at 8pm I went into the hospital for an induction.  I chose to have only my husband and my mother in the room with me.  I had an epidural and don't remember feeling any pain but emotionally I felt like I was falling apart.  I spend my life protecting my children and there was nothing I could do to protect or help Lexie.  When it came time to deliver it was the hardest thing I've ever done because I felt like I was giving up the only thing I had left of my baby.
    Lexie was born on her due date, May 22, 2010 at 1:11pm.  Immediately following the birth they took Lexie out of the room because it was a very emotional experience.  About 45 minutes later the nurse put my baby girl into my arms and I felt a feeling beyond anything I've ever experienced on this earth.  Her beautiful little pink dress I bought her fit her perfectly, she had blonde eyebrows and long blonde eyelashes just like her sisters, she had beautiful full red lips, she had long fingers and toes like her sisters and I knew at that moment that I was holding an angel.  The thing I was the most scared of turned out to be the most beautiful experience of my life.
    The doctor later told me the umbilical cord had a kink in it and this was why the baby had no heartbeat.  Lexie was cremated and we were able to take her home spiritually.  We had a beautiful memorial service and we wrote letters to Lexie that were read by family members.  The organist played songs such as Jesus loves the little children.  We wanted Lexie to know that she will always be a member of our family and that our family will strengthen from her birth.
    When I experience pain I talk to Lexie.  It's amazing how much she comforts me spiritually.  I always feel her with me.  I told my two daughters that they are so lucky to have an angel for a sister and that she will be with them through everything life has to offer.
Lexie, we know you were brought into our life for a reason and we love you! 
christie1052 christie1052
31-35
5 Responses Aug 13, 2010

Christie, you made me cry. I feel so similar to you. Thank you for sharing this. You are an amazing person. Please read the book, Heaven is for real, about the 4 yr old boy. My daughter Evelyn was a precious angel too. Her site...www.babyevie.com. <br />
<br />
-Christy

What a beautiful story, i also had a stillborn at 38 weeks from the cord being wrapped around his neck and i always wonder why he was taken away for me, i do realize he is my liitle baby angel and will be loved and missed forever.

This was beautiful. You are a good person, and have given a lot of people hope. <3 Cassandra

Reading your story gives me hope that I will be able to feel whole again someday. Today has been exactly 1 week since I lost my angel Natalee. I, like you went to the doctor for a routine visit(36 weeks), and they couldn't find a heartbeat. I had Natalee by c-section 3 hours later. I feel as if my life is over at this point, and find it hard to put one foot in front of the other. I have 2 other daughters (7&9), so I know I have to keep oving for them. I will never understand why a perfect little miracle had to be taken like that. Stephanie

Thanks so much for your story. It really brought a few tears to my eyes. Your perspective on this tragic event is really refreshing! I really sincerely wish you and your family all the best. x