Aaliyah My Baby Girl

I had my first daughter when I was 18 she was born healthy and no complications through the whole pregnancy. I went back to my normal weight and everything I have to say was perfect. Now that I realized she was four I thought I have to have another baby soon so they won't be far apart. It took me a while to get pregnant again but I did. I was so excited that words can't even explain I was so ready, so prepared and her sister was so excited. She hugged my stomach and talked to her. The pregnancy was going great it was harder but she was growing and just on target. At 38 wks I started cramping but they were to apart so I thought it was just Braxton hicks. The day after they began again and I told my mom and sister let's go to the hospital. I threw up before we left for the first time through the pregnancy. They tried for like 30 mins to find the heart breat but nothing i wanted to cry but thought no they'll find it. They brought in the ultrasound and that's when I knew as I saw teheran heart just still not moving. I waited till they came back and saw the nurses face I bursted out crying. Its the hardest thing to wait for the day you waited so long for and to know that you can't bring your baby home. When I finally pushed her out it's almost as the world stood still. I layed there staring at the wall with tears flowing down. She was born 12-19-12 buried 12-27-12. I cry so much still and cry even more realizing she's not the last one. No mother should feel this to loose their child no matter what age. But life in no way is fair and it won't stop for anyone and feel no sympathy for any either. I pray that there is a god and that he is real because he has my baby. I want this to be over and I wish it was a bad dream but I have to except reality and I pray that we have strength to fight through these hard times. I won't loose faith and hope that one day god will let me see her again and that he will give me the chance to raise another beautiful child. Stay strong ladies. Even though I saw a different future and ended in way I never imagined. We still have a long road ahead of us. We are hurting for our angels as our family hurts for us. We can't give up.
Takeiteasyk Takeiteasyk
Jan 5, 2013