My Ava-rose, My Angel Baby!

I'm so sorry to hear about the loss of your baby girl especially since it was so close to the due date :( I'm also waiting for the results of what happened to my ava, I hope that I can get a bit of peace finding out why this has happened and hopefully it wasn't caused by me as I think of all the things I should have done to try to prevent what happend, like if only I didn't use the bathroom cleaner or I shouldn't of eaten this or I should have eaten more so many things I think about to blame myself! I get angry aswell, thinking about all the people out there that get pregnant and don't look after their babies or smoke and drink and do drugs and I think how unfair it is.. But I like to think that our babies were too good for this earth and they were needed as angels in the heavens! Thank you for your kind words you have given me strength today xox

Yes....our sleeping Angels were waaaaaay to good for this CRUEL CRUEL world. I've had the worst day today.....mostly crying and blaming myself.......but u will drive your self insane doing that.....I have to stay as healthy as I can and grieve the loss of my first born, Ariana and be ready to try be blessed with a brother or sister for her. Honey I send my love and prayers and know that ur not alone in how u are feeling.....all these emotions are NORMAL!!!!!! Xxxxx

By the way....where do u live. Apparently in my state alone just in January there have been an unusual amount of stillborn baby's. more than 40. It breaks my heart that the numbers are so high and 40 other ppl in my state are feeling this PAIN AND HELL we are going through. I love baby's.....I've wanted a baby girl since I was 16 I recon. It's soooo mean. Xxxxx

I know exactly how you feel :( I live in Western Australia how about you? That is alot of stillbirths in just 1 month in just 1 state, it saddens me to hear! When the doctor told me that I had lost my baby he said it happens to 1 in every 2000 woman and I couldn't believe my bad luck, but it just seems like there are so much more happening. I also wanted a baby girl from a young age and was so excited when I found out I was having a healthy baby girl then only 2 weeks later get crushed with the news that she was gone. I send my love to you xxx

I live in South Australia. I know Hun.......I said to my mum today that it doesn't happen very often but it just had to be me!!!! I'm cursed I swear!!! But there are a lot of empty mummy's and daddy's out there like us!!!! I wouldn't even wish this appon my worst enemy!!! To see there beautiful sweet innocent faces.....there half us half our partner....we created that through love and then it's just gone in a Heartbeat!!!! I go back to work in 4 weeks....part time.....sooooo scared....it's going to be so hard facing my clients...I'm a hairdresser in North Adelaide.....and all my clients watched me grow up some even came to my wedding. I got soooooo many nice presents from my clients for Ariana. Feel soooo empty. I still go to turn the music up in the car and sing to her and then realise she's not there anymore!!!! Did the doctors know why ur angel passed away?? I get my autopsy results back on the 20th march....it's soooo far away...I want to know answers now. I think once we get the results back we will start trying again. Life is sooooo hard and mean.....maybe god chose us Bcoz we are strong enough to pull through this. Much love Hun. Xxxxx

Naww Hun your not cursed but I think your right about god choosing us because we are strong (even thou I don't feel strong at all anymore, just empty and weak) but I will get through this and so will you, people say time heals all things but personally I don't believe this because our little angels are going to b apart of our lives forever and We will miss them and never stop wanting and wishing they were here. But time will make it easier to cope, we'll I hope it does because I don't want to feel this miserable forever! I gave up my job when I found out I was pregnant because I worked as a cleaner in the mines and I didn't want the chemicals to harm her, I thought I had my life planned I was to stay at home and raise my baby so I didn't mind quitting my job because I knew I couldn't take 4 or 5 years leave! Now I'm lost I have no baby, no job, my husband is back at work in the mines already because we need to pay the bills so I have no husband for 2 weeks at a time, no family because they all live in nz..! I haven't got the autopsy results back yet and I haven't got my baby's ashes back yet either, it's been 2 weeks and 1 day I don't know wats going on! No 1 knew what happened to her so I hope the autopsy results give me answers! Did you get Ariana cremated or buried? You don't hav to answer that question if you don't want to, I just am wandering why it takes so long for a autopsy and cremation? That was really lovely of your clients to buy ur little angel gifts, my baby shower was meant to b this month but I had already brought most of her stuff! It's really nice talking to you xox

Ohhhh honey......my heart goes out to u even more knowing your husbands not around to be your rock and ur family too. Babe.....I'm always here if u need to chat....tell ur story 500 times if need be....if that's going to help u heel...then so be it. U are a very strong woman Hun. I got Ariana cremated. We had her funeral 10 days after she was born. On the 25th was her funeral. I got to hold her beautiful little hand....but I was not able to see her face....they advised me strongly.....DO NOT LOOK AT HER FACE!!! Apparently after the autopsy and what not I would not have wanted to see her like that. I pray for u babe......I pay for both of us.....even though I'm kinda pissed at god at the moment. Do u have Facebook?? Friend request me Cathy Noakes. It's a wedding pic, platinum blonde hair and my stand is a big bear. Ha. Hats only if u want to. I have a pic of my sleeping angel on my wall. She was sooooo pretty and perfect. It's so much easier talking to someone who has gone through this...I love my girl friends....but they have no idea just how heartbreaking this is. Ul be happy again...we both will. Sending hugs and kisses. Xxxoooxxxx

Oppss....I meant to say my husbands a big bear!!