She was a full term stillbirth. It was the most traumatic experience in my life. I carried her for nine months, bought all her clothes, decorated her nursery, packed her clothes to come home from the hospital, loved her dearly.
It was a spontaneous rupture of the placenta. No one could tell me why it happened.."just one of those things" I was within five minutes of bleeding out. I had to go back to work after six weeks,although i wasnt ready. I was working in a retaurant, and all my customers knew i was due. When I came back, they would all ask "oh , what did you have?" , happy for me. I had to tell them what had happened.....making both of us feel horrible. I cried at the drop of a hat...for no seeming reason. It took a very long time before i could even look at a baby without crying.
My husband at the time, took my two pre-schoolers to my parent's house for them to take care of my kids, and stayed at our house alone. The only thing i asked him to do for me , was to get rid of all Misty's things....i didn't want to have to come home and see them,,thought it would be too hard. I was in the hospital for a week , then at my parents for another week to recuperate. When i finally went home, i walked into her room, and there sat all of her things.