My 7th Baby Boy

I just lost my baby 4 weeks ago and the pain is still severe.  I know I need to keep going for my other children but everyday is a struggle.  I went for a usual ultrasound and he was beautiful on the screen until I noticed the technician growing concerned.  She called in my doctor and they said the baby had no heart beat.  I was admitted to the hospital within an hour and it took 3  1/2 days to deliver that perfect little boy.  As soon as he was born it was clear that he had the cord wrapped around his neck.  We held him and kissed him and got to say goodbye.  But I do not feel like myself anymore.  I have terrible anxiety and depression.  Plus after he was born the placenta would not come out so I had to go into surgery and then ended up needing a blood transfusion.  I was in the hospital for a week and I have not been the same since.  I truly feel like I am never going to get better.  Does the pain lessen?  My other boy's play sports and I find myself not going so I don't have to explain why I am not pregnant and not carrying a newborn.  The whole experience has been a living nightmare!  People have said to me, well at least you have your 6 boys, but it was still my baby and I loved him and couldn't wait for him.   Does anyone understand my situation?

Mommyof7 Mommyof7
41-45, F
6 Responses Feb 24, 2010

I lost my baby girl at 23w and 2d last December 9, 2010. Like you, Im still grieving and suffering so much pain. I was induced, she went out with her placenta, I dont have the results yet, my next appointment to my OB will be on 28th next month. Im scared, Im worried its my fault that I lost her, that I am not a good mother and that im too relax when i still have her in my tummy.<br />
<br />
My life will never be the same. I am just hoping that I will be given another chance to become a mother in the near future.

i am so sorry for your loss i do know how you feel i was 22wks when i lost my little boy i also have four kids and people say the same to me it is very hard to deal with but i think we just need to be strong and move on it is a part of our lives we will never forget .

I'm so sorry for your loss, I lost my son Tyson 5 weeks ago. He was stillborn at 36 weeks. The pain is unbearable. Like you, people say to me, at least you have your daughter. And they are right - I do have my daughter. But I don't have my Son. I understand your pain. The emptiness. The heartache. I feel for you. Big hugs!

Let me just start off by saying my heart and prayers go out to you and your family Yiska! I can relate to your loss. I just lost my baby (stillborn) on 1/19/2010. When I was told on 1/18/10 that my baby was stillborn, it was a surreal moment. We were devestated crying and screaming out in such anguish and pain. By far this is the most traumatic and painful experience in my 40 years on this earth. I had a good pregnancy, although I was diagnosed with gestational diabetes in my 6th month. The diabetes was being monitored and managed. I was very happy being pregnant. This was a first child for us both, so we were very excited anticipating the birth of our baby. Our son was born at 38 weeks at 9lbs. 21 inches long. It is our trust and belief in god that keeps us sane, and TAKE IT ONE DAY AT A TIME!!!!!! on our journey towards healing. Our hearts are heavy as we miss and grieve for our son daily. It hurts so bad some days, I feel like screaming at the top of my lungs WHY!!!!!!! We have faith that "The sun will shine again in time." <br />
Peace and Blessings to you and your family Linda


Thank you so much for the "hug". It means alot fo me. I do not have alot of family so I feel really alone. You are very sweet to comment on my story!