3 Strange things after my father diedI remember three strange things happening to me after my father died 17 years ago. And as a result, they have always stuck with me. The first was the night he actually died. He was in the hospital with cancer when the doctors came out and gave us our options. One was to perform a risky operation that he likely wouldn't survive, and the other was to just let him go. It didn't take our family long to decide what option we wanted. We decided to let him go. Once we got home however, all lingering doubt about our decision was suddenly removed, when we noticed that the Grandfather clock, which sat in our house, stopped at exactly the same time my father passed away. The message to us being that it was his time to go. Interestingly, my father was the only one who ever wound the clock up, it stopped exactly when he passed.
The next incident happened later that week. My father's brother and nephew flew in for the funeral. While they were in town, we tried to take them to San Francisco for a quick visit, since they had never been there before. While traveling in the car though, I happened to look out the window and saw a man that looked exactly like my father, standing on the side of the road, as if he was looking at the passing traffic on a quiet afternoon. He was wearing the exact same beige hat and coat that my father wore regularly before he passed away. I remembered thinking then, and still wonder today, if I actually caught another glimpse of him that afternoon. I always wonder if that man was him trying to make a connection with me one last time.
The last incident fills me with a sense of fright as well as a slight sense of regret. One night, while I was sleeping, I had a dream. In it, my father came to me. He had a way of joking around with me sometimes where he said, "you want a fight," in a humorous style. A kind of carryover from when I was a child. When I saw him at first, I remembered being excited saying, "DAD!" As if I was glad to see him.
But even then, in my dream, I remembered that he had passed away. I suddenly became frightened and began to back away from him thinking, "he shouldn't be here." He immediately changed his posture to one of concern and said, "No, No, No, No, Wait!" trying to ease my fear of seeing him as he moved toward me. But soon after that I suddenly woke up, my heart pounding in my chest and he was gone. I never dreamt of him that vividly again.
I often wonder if he had something more to say to me that night because we weren't that close during life. I'd like to think that's what the dream was about. But I was too scared at the time to talk to him, it was too soon after he died.
Now he's gone, and all I have left of him are distant memories. But those are the three things that will always stick with me, the three strange things that happened to me, after my father died.
paclark 31-35 1 Apr 30, 2012